Further Reading

Linear liner notes 

Poor Boris Johnson. He only earns a meagre three times the salary of the average British person which means he just can’t afford that essential gold wallpaper without some help from donor pals. It must be so hard being the man of the people where you still don’t earn millions despite all the decisions you have to make about buying yachts for dead people or judging your own misdemeanours so you get away with everything. Flat refurbs, DUP changes, and a look at the new British favourite: Norwegian fish and chips. Plus Dr Mohga Kamal-Yanni (@MohgaKamalYanni) at the People’s Vaccine campaign (@PeoplesVaccine) on vaccine nationalism.

Key links and sources of info from Dr Mohga’s interview:

• • Dr Mohga Kamal-Yanni on Twitter – https://twitter.com/MohgaKamalYanni 
• • Access 2 HealthCare website (Dr Mohga Kamal-Yanni’s blog) – https://www.access2healthcare.net/ 
• • The People’s Vaccine on Twitter – https://twitter.com/peoplesvaccine 
• • The People’s Vaccine campaign website – https://peoplesvaccine.org/ 
• • Find and write to your MP here – https://www.mysociety.org/wehelpyou/who-is-your-mp/ 
• • Health Europa on Twitter – https://twitter.com/HealthEuropa 
• • Heath Policy News website – https://www.healtheuropa.eu/category/news/health-policy-news/ 

All the usual ParPolBro stuff:

• • Get 10% off at British Boxers with the code in the episode – https://british-boxers.com/ 
• • Support Katie Coxall – https://www.redbubble.com/i/t-shirt/DON-T-VOTE-TORY-white-by-KatieCoxall/64200084.GDEN5 
• • Twitter – twitter.com/ParPolBro and twitter.com/TiernanDouieb   
• • Facebook – www.facebook.com/groups/ParPolBro  
• • Website – www.tiernandouieb.co.uk/podcast 
• • Donate to the Patreon – www.patreon.com/parpolbro 
• • Buy me a coffee – ko-fi.com/parpolbro 
• • Review the show on iTunes – itunes.apple.com/gb/podcast/partly-political-broadcast/id1075342863?mt=2  
• • Review the show on Stitcher – www.stitcher.com/podcast/partly-political-broadcast 
• • The Last Skeptik – www.thelastskeptik.com 
• • Kat on Twitter – https://twitter.com/chronicleflask 
• • Buy Kat a coffee (go on, spread the love) – https://ko-fi.com/katday 

Transcript

Ep230

Hello and welcome to the Partly Political Broadcast, the comedy politics podcast whose relationship to the truth is that its real sweet on it, but the truth just doesn’t want to commit as years of seeing the political class has given it fear of rejection. I’m Tiernan Douieb and this week a big raspberry to all those who said Brexit wouldn’t make Britain a more global country because ha-ha thanks to the government’s failure to strike a fishing deal its even made fish and chips Norwegian.

There is nothing to see here, says Prime Minister and disappointing fatberg Boris Johnson when asked about the costs of refurbing the 10 Downing Street flat. Really? Well then why did it cost so much? You could’ve just left a door, or a few windows open at night and there are loads of talented burglars who’d have given you that sort of minimalist style for free. Has the Prime Minister broken the law? Sorry, I mean broken the law again? Well, the Electoral Commission will make a decision based on their findings as to whether Johnson paid for the flat himself or he had a ton of dosh from donors who are happy to help pay for wallpaper so garish it will at least hide all the marks from where Johnson has tried to hump the furniture or spaff up the wall. Everyone knows that is what’s happened by the way, I mean the donors, not the spaffing. And also, the spaffing. Donors have allegedly funded the £200,000 renovation to remove what Johnson’s partner in slime and Skrull who hasn’t yet worked out the shapeshifting bit properly Carrie Symonds, referred to as a ‘John Lewis Nightmare’. Hey, we’ve all had those right? I once spent 3 hours in there trying to find pillow cases only to discover I couldn’t afford them, and we’ve all been lost in the lingerie section right? Right? Oh. Man of the people there, the Prime Minister, thinking John Lewis is trashy when the rest of us only go there to see what money we’ve saved buying things almost anywhere else. It’s odd that Symonds doesn’t like John Lewis, when they are never knowingly undersold. A naivety and lack of awareness her and Johnson always want the public to have as they misuse taxpayers’ money and fling contracts at pals. Sorry, I take it back, its Tory Donor money and it’s not like they’ve ever paid tax, so I suppose in a way that’s one consolation. Maybe they were just giving a campaign boost to the Conservative West Midlands Mayor seeking re-election Andy Street, who is the former boss at John Lewis and appears to be a terrifying vision of what if Stephen Colbert picked the wrong Holy Grail. I’m sure he’d appreciate the boost.

It’s apparently common chat around Westminster that Boris Johnson can’t actually afford to be Prime Minister, so hey, I take it back, maybe he does represent the people. Oh no wait, he can’t afford to be Prime Minister on £150k a year, which actually I could afford to do it for that if anyone would like to give me a chance. I promise to not spend it all on gold wallpaper like Johnson has done. Though I can’t complain when least it means he’s finally been able to show some signs of gilt. Apparently, Johnson has told his friends he needs more than £300,000 to keep his head above water, maybe because the weight of his ego & face of infinitely melting lard would mean he’d sink without an expensively made dinghy. The average UK salary is £31,461 so if man of the people Boris Johnson is so shit with cash that he needs 10x that to survive, maybe they need to swap his benefits with a card that can only be used at supermarkets and not for any cigarettes or booze or fucking gold wallpaper. The Prime Minister should really have thought about whether he could afford to have 400 kids before he had them. Apparently, Johnson’s asked donors to pay for his latest son’s nanny, which I assume is childcare costs but may also be one of those settlements, so she doesn’t tell stories about the times he’s asked her to wipe his bum instead. Of course, there was also that holiday paid for by Conservative donor in December 2019 that I think lasted about 14 months. Sources say Johnson is terrible with money and often forgets to pay his bill at the end of a meal so it’s no wonder that his method of leading the country has been a series of dining out at our expense before leaving everyone else to pay for it.

Its why government spending is as frivolous as a kid in a toy shop, and rarely on anything that the country actually needs or wants. £200m is going on a national flagship to commemorate rich twiglet Prince Philip who is still dead. Great, a big ship for someone who’s dead. I’m sure he’ll make tons of use of that when there’s already a ferryman at the River Styx. Then again, he did seem to drive his car while dead so I could be wrong. If you really want to honour his death none of that money should be spent on the boat’s steering controls. I am of course being facetious. What better way to honour Phil’s existence than by spending vast amounts of money on something that will never ever benefit the public. So, there’s £200m for that, but if you live in a building with flammable cladding the government has decided you have to foot the bill to remove it which will cost thousands of pounds or one No.10 flat redecoration. The Fire Safety Bill passed in Parliament last week with the results appearing like its purpose is less to keep people safe from fire, but more allow fire to be safe from anyone stopping it from burning buildings. You almost wonder if fire has donated money to the Conservative Party at some point. So, the choice for all those residents stuck through no fault of their own is to either go bankrupt, or never be able to sell their home and constantly risk death. Hey, I suppose with the latter, maybe the government will actually give a shit about you once you’ve gone and buy you a boat? Maybe that’s always been the Conservatives priority, which is why so many of their polices seem to be about letting people die from neglect while spending money on statues of those considerate enough to die before they had to pay for it. The government have also cut funding by 60% to Unicef, which was to be used to help children around the world. But now of course the Prime Minister has too many of his own to support here so spending must be prioritised. In fact, the Foreign Office is cutting funding for global water, sanitation and hygiene bilateral projects by 80% as part of its reduction to foreign aid, and I can only assume it’s because they’ve realised that the UK is now so undesirable the only way to persuade people to come here is by forcing them to in order to be able to hydrate. At which point the Home Office will accuse them of stealing water and send them back again.

There was a rumour that the government were thinking of sending some money to another country, by repaying a £400m debt to Iran in order to finally secure the release of Nazanin Zaghari Ratcliffe. Foreign Secretary and deep vein thrombosis as a person Dominic Raab said Iran’s treatment of Nazanin amounts to torture and he’s checked with the Home Office who’ve said it’s just like how they treat asylum seekers in the UK, so that must be true. The talks are to repay the £400m debt which is for failing to send tanks that Iran bought from us in the 1970s, because it seems so much of the money owed is due to a destructive bulk not managing to deliver, but the government say it’s not related to Nazanin’s detention which is a separate issue and its inappropriate to link them. Well clearly, as one is about weapons so thought to be worth time and energy, and the other is about the life of a woman and her family which as has been proved by the Prime Minister in his personal life and when he caused Nazanin’s arrest, clearly isn’t as important.

Only one Conservative MP has said that Johnson should resign if he’s breached ministerial code, and that’s the leader of the Scottish Conservatives and victim of cruel photoshopping to make his face look too small for his head Douglass Ross. A man who’s had quite the week in the lead up to the Scottish elections, starting with him showing off a dance routine to Atomic Kitten, a band that sung ‘Whole Again’ an entire song about where Ross talks from. Even in their latter stages Atomic Kitten had almost as many members as the Scottish Conservatives. And then he took part in the Scottish leaders debate where he refused to say if Scotland’s being part of the union was a voluntary choice. Well, if it’s not, it’s being held hostage and someone should really let Dominic Raab know and he might do absolutely nothing about it. Then Ross went against the grain of many Conservative MPs and said Johnson should resign, as people expected the highest standards of those in the highest office in the land, which shows you he doesn’t think much of the Scottish Parliament his party is running for or he’d stand all candidates down. It does at least fit with when he said that SNP leader and Minecraft character Nicola Sturgeon should resign if she had broken the ministerial code, so I applaud him for having some consistency, even if the rest of the time he appears completely vapid.

All other Conservative lackeys that were shoved onto the politics programs unsurprisingly disagreed. When asked if Johnson should resign if he’d broken the code, Stupid peanut James Cleverly said it wasn’t as straightforward as that which isn’t much of a useful answer for a man who’d say the same about eating with a spoon or trying not to hit his own face. According to Cleverly, the ministerial code is a guide for the Prime Minister, but doesn’t actually apply to him, a bit like the moral code or the instructions on a pack of condoms. The Prime Minister is not using Tory Party funds to decorate the No.10 flat, but no one wants to say if he did previously, and donor money, before paying it back. It’s important to know because anyone that had access to the Prime Minister like that may have dictated policies as a result, and that could now be anyone of the 15,000 people that were sent his phone number on the bottom of a press release 15 years ago that has been up on the internet ever since. Imagine how annoyed lobbyists must be that they’ve had to spend all that time networking when they could’ve just googled and then texted Johnson a picture of some tits and no doubt got several contracts back. Downing Street refused to comment on whether this was a major security risk, particularly as Johnson will have evaded some aspects of that by never attending COBRA meetings and therefore not actually knowing that much useful information. Johnson, a man who’s made his phone number more readily available than his various ex’s have done when angrily scrawling it on a toilet cubicle wall, will judge himself if he has broken the ministerial code. Well, that’s alright then. I’m sure he’ll say he definitely did and come out with his hands in the air asking to be replaced. He definitely seems like the sort of guy that just honestly owns up to mistakes like that. You are your own worst critic as they say, and when the Conservatives have most of the media under their control that probably is true even in Johnson’s case of hefty narcissism. A BBC News piece by Salacious B Crumb tribute Laura Kuenssburg wrote a long piece about the Prime Minister’s relationship with the truth, where she managed to ignore every time he’d definitely lied. A lot of people criticised the piece but in being able to see the story is ‘Johnson is a big fat liar’ and still fill several pages of fluff about nothing, that is an expert guide to professional copywriting and I’m sure she’ll go far working for a catalogue or website that gives holistic health advice.

Despite all the money spent on decorating, Johnson can’t seem to cover up the flat decorating story, and it’s being blamed for the Conservatives very slightly dropping in popularity in the polls before this week’s election. Because while 150,000 unnecessarily dead from COVID, child poverty rising or making people stuck in flammable buildings pay for it is totally reasonable behaviour for most voters, spending a lot of money on wallpaper that looks like a failed optical illusion is the last straw. If only the issue with Grenfell Tower hadn’t been cladding but a garish fluorescent paint job and thousands might have chosen differently in the 2017 election that followed. The Labour party have called for a Commons inquiry criticising the Prime Minister for marking his own homework. In which I’m certain they didn’t intentionally get the double meaning of homework. I bet they didn’t. I mean they’ll say they did now, but they definitely didn’t. Labour leader and Panasonic laundroid Keir Starmer had a photo op in the wallpaper section of John Lewis which must’ve made a nice change for a man who usually gets his inspiration watching paint dry. The Conservatives accused him of playing politics which is always a stupid accusation against a politician who does politics making a political point no matter how weak. Maybe they’re just said because they prefer people who cheat at politics? Will this be the Prime Minister’s downfall? Its hard to say and I know many would be upset that it’s a dodgy flat refurb rather than all the other awful shit he’s done that gets him caught. But I think it’d be super appropriate if his downfall is because yet again, he’s used someone else’s money to cover things up with unnecessary flourish, masking that he’s done a terrible job replacing something that didn’t need to change in the first place.

In other news, DUP Leader and woman made of coat-hangers Arlene Foster, has stepped down from her role and is also leaving the party after members signed a vote of no confidence in her. I am surprised they forced her out before her term was up as the DUP have always been adamantly against that. Still being unhappy with her as leader means that for once the DUP were in line with public opinion, though I’m certain they’ll vote to replace her with a copy of the Old Testament and a loud hailer. The current frontrunner for the leadership job is Edwin Poots, holder of a hilarious name and the appearance of Stretch Armstrong’s distanced uncle, while Paul Givan a man who looks like he’s been caught in the headlights scampering across the road, would become First Minister. Poots and Givan are creationists and dismiss the theory of evolution. Looking at them, you can see why. They both also have very extreme homophobic views. On the plus side, those two being leader and first minister may well lead directly to a more progressive Northern Ireland, not least as they cause no one to ever vote DUP ever again.

The EU ratified the Brexit Trade and Cooperation Agreement, which Boris Johnson said was the final step in a long journey, making it very much sound like the country has now died. It has been signalled as a new chapter in friendly relations after four years of division, which is exactly the sort of thing you say at the end of a relationship before deleting your ex’s number from your phone. The government said the agreement being ratified meant we could take back control of our money, you know so Johnson can spend it on his flat and a boat, our borders which COVID currently has control over, our laws which don’t seem to apply to those in charge and our waters. Which we’ve successfully done by the government failing to secure a fishing deal quota with Norway meaning much of the UK’s fishing industry will now get battered. Really the side of that bus should have just read ‘there is no Cod’.

Health Secretary and dad who’s so cringe he embarrasses other people’s kids too Matt Hancock tweeted a picture of him getting his first vaccination jab from Deputy Chief Medical officer and yes everytime, MASSIVE BABY, Jonathan Van Tam. Of course it had to be Van Tam that did it as any other medical staff would’ve struggled not to jab it in Hancock’s eye or at least do a run up. The Foreign Office has imposed sanctions on 22 people accused of corruption because it seems they didn’t hurt comedians enough over the past year that they now also have to make jokes too easy to bother doing.

England now has the lowest COVID cases since last September, which is good as we all remember after things just got better. Restrictions have lifted across Wales and will do so more in England from the 17^th May, with there being no limit on funeral mourners after then. Not sure if that’s policy or Johnson just giving us an indication of how it might go. COVID stopped being the biggest cause of death in the UK a couple of weeks ago and now everyone’s just dying of other things more instead. It’s sad to know we could have really taken COVID down a notch ages ago with a few more killing sprees or by releasing some hungry tigers. According to Dominic Raab who is as aware of health issues as a sausage is of foreign diplomacy, or sorry, as Dominic Raab is of foreign diplomacy, said the UK was in a good position to get life back to as close as normal as possible by June 21^st. Which would only be true if we had an opportunity to get rid of the government on June 20^th. There is a good chance the one metre social distancing rule will be scrapped by that date though, meaning that for millions of people nothing will have changed as they’ve ignored it since last May. Some foreign travel may also be opening up in a week and a bit’s time but the government aren’t saying to where, and if I was you, I’d keep an eye out for where they owe debts to and keep clear of those places.

And lastly, former Downing Street Press Secretary and man who’s chin withers every time he lies, which is why its currently aligned with his neck Alistair Campbell is to take over as host on Good Morning Britain, after the departure of performative turkey wattle Piers Morgan. I do hope the producers don’t feel too disappointed when Campbell it turns out that despite promising he could, he’s unable to get camera ready within 45 minutes.

ADMIN

Hey, hey, hey, hey. How are you all ParPolBrods? Excited about this week bookended by a windy Bank Holiday and an election? I am debating exactly how to do all of my votes and what type of pen I should take with me. Isn’t it amazing that the usepens conspiracy of a few years back, conjured up by paranoid UKIP voters, has now become policy due to COVID? Something those same voters probably won’t appreciate because they likely think COVID is a conspiracy too and thus it’s the never winning cycle of delusion. Still, I might borrow one of my daughter’s sparkly pens or a big fat felt tip just so I can do that cross real nice. I’ve only got the Mayoral and London Assembly ones in my area so none of the local government ones many of you do, but I’m still excited to go to our local library and stand near people who will probably vote badly because my area is full of fucking idiots. Still, anyone who wants to vote for Laurence Fox or someone like that probably won’t be allowed in due to a lack of mask so that should filter itself out. I haven’t covered those elections enough on this show, I know, but do make sure you go out and vote for, well, pretty much anyone except the Conservatives. Its hard in small area where everyone is terrified of the outside, but every vote that says actually, kindness is radical, is one towards things being less shit. So do go out with your own fancy pens or pencils and do that. I appreciate you may be hearing this podcast after the results have come out, in which case enjoy my ignorance of the Conservatives increasing their parliamentary majority by one in Hartlepool and their overwhelming local election wins because I think short of saying they enjoyed the Line of Duty finale they can’t seem to do anything wrong. I’m really wondering what it is that will cut through to the public if it’s not any of the myriad of awful things that already put many classic villains to shame, and I’m starting to wonder if we are in such a weird timeline that it’ll only be Johnson suddenly doing something really kind that might turn people off him. Not that that’s likely to happen but might be worth spiking his poorly made cups of tea with MDMA and hoping for the best.

Big thanks this week to Christine and Emma for donating to the ko-fi this week and obvs you can do that too if you fancy buying chucking me the price of a pint, coffee or reasonably unfancy cake at ko-fi.com/parpolbro, join the patreon.com/parpolbro or via the Acast Supporter Button. Or give the show a review on Apple Podcasts and all those places or just tell people you like it and tell them they might like it and then snatch their phone and download it and play every single episode from their phone and tell them to stop crying or you’ll break their TV. Ok maybe that’s a bit much and you’re not allowed that near them till June so hold off a bit.

Big apologies for last week’s show where apparently, I mistakenly said Preston was in the North East when it’s not. It’s definitely in the North West. I know that and I’ve been there and done shows there and driven to Lancashire, so I promise it wasn’t ignorance but a sheer idiot slip of the tongue and I’m not sure how it happened but it probably will happen again because I’m hilariously unprofessional and you love it. Also this week I want to give a special shout out to Katie Coxall who I thank at the end of every one of these podcasts as she did the artwork for them, and is entirely responsible for that drawing of my bearded face. Katie is having a hella shit time at the moment and is currently in a hospice receiving treatment for some bastard cancer. Though I am reassured that she is also getting egg, chips and mushy peas served under a cloche so you know, it’s not all bad. But I should have plugged this years ago really but on redbubble there are some of Katie’s brilliant designs including the ‘Don’t Vote Tory’ tshirts that you now won’t be able to get before Thursday but why not help Katie out and order them and wear them constantly till the election after that? I’ll pop links to those and her website in the pod blurb.

Oh, and lastly, Nomadland is brilliant. If you haven’t seen it, just do that. It does really deserve all those awards and Frances McDormand is just astonishing. That is all.

On this week’s show, I had a chat with Dr Mohga Kamal Yanni at the People’s Vaccine campaign about how vaccine nationalism is yet another form of shit nationalism. And there’s a bit in the middle about how Cod exists and is Norwegian.

INTERVIEW WITH MOHGA

The thing with a global pandemic is that as its name suggests, it’s a pandemic that is all over the world. COVID19 has done more travelling than anyone else was allowed to in the last year, even reaching Antarctica in December like it had some sort of world trip bucket list and won’t stop till it’s done it all. There are two ways that you can treat something that affects everyone everywhere and the first, and most sensible would be for all countries to work together, sharing knowledge, science and strategies in order to halt the virus in its airborne tracks before announcing the planet officially open again to all except alien invaders and everyone unites hand in hand because that’d be allowed now. Or the second way, which is every country for themselves, hoarding vaccines like it might somehow mean they have global dominance as the last one standing full of virus invincibility because they haven’t paid any attention to how mutations, the global economy or travel work and obvs haven’t seen enough horror films to learn that if you don’t do the job properly, the enemy deffo comes back long after you think they’re dead. As you can guess, because well, it is 2021, Britain along many other of the big bully countries, have opted for number two. Yes, it is the number two option not just because its second. While on the one hand, over half the British population have now been jabbed at least once, leading to events such as daytime raves with lateral flow tests being allowed, which must’ve felt weird having security happily shove things up party goers’ noses when usually they frown on that sort of thing. On the other hand, across the world, India is hitting record death tolls every day as a shortage of vaccines means there isn’t enough to go round, and Brazil, with the second highest death toll, is now asking for other country’s spare vaccines to be sent to them. But, but, but didn’t Vaccine Deployment Minister and rejected Guess Who character Nadhim Zawahi say back in March that the 10m doses of vaccine bought from India wouldn’t impact poor nations as they were intended for Britain? Yes, and he was partly right in that they were intended for Britain as Britain did buy them, but he was mostly wrong because it’s exactly the wealthy countries hoarding vaccines like that that is affecting poor nations. Many governments be grabbing almost double the supply they need, and big pharma don’t want to scrap the patents that would allow other countries to develop their own vaccines, because what’s the point in saving lives if you can’t make money off it. It’s easy to be short sighted if your vision is constantly blurred by big dollar signs cha-chinging right in front of them. As always, yes we are the bad guys, and now we have vaccine nationalism for a global pandemic. You know like hastily taking all the food in your village to save yourself from a nationwide famine, failing to realise that if you haven’t helped them, what’s stopping others from eating you?

This week I spoke to Dr Mohga Kamal Yanni who is a consultant in global health policy and has worked with many NGOs all over the world, but is currently working with The People’s Vaccine Alliance in their campaign for enough COVID-19 vaccines to be available all over the world, free of charge and free of patents. While the World Health Organisation’s own Covax problem is failing to deliver and isn’t being transparent about the deals it’s doing, the People’s Vaccine Alliance is made up of many organisations and groups who are demanding a system that works and asking governments to participate. I asked Mohga all about why there aren’t enough vaccines to go round, if just proving the recipes for vaccines is enough and just how, if at all, any of us can help. Here’s Mohga:

INTERVIEW WITH MOHGA PART 1

And we’ll be back with Mohga in a minute but first…

MIDDLE BIT

BREXIT FALLOUT

Last week the European Parliament ratified the Trade and Cooperation Agreement. What that means, isn’t that they put loads of rats in it, they were already in there mainly on the British negotiation team. No what it means is that they voted through the deal that was agreed in December and now, BREXIT HAS GOT DONE DONED! Well, some of it has. Like a bit of it. The Trade and Cooperation Agreement just covers the tariff free and quota free trade of all goods, but not the trade of services which is mostly what we have in the UK having spent the majority of the years since Thatcher’s government declining to make thing cos she broke all that, then everyone since stomped on the remains. But it’s still about a chunk of what we send to the EU including food and drink though probably not much fish anymore but we’ll get to that. There’s plenty more er, no wait. Johnson said the ratifying of the agreement was a final step in a long journey, but if he believes that then either he’s keeled over and isn’t bothering with the rest or his line of vision is so narrow he can’t see the miles ahead. Sure, the Agreement is ratified, but now it’s gotta be implemented by a partnership council between the EU and UK, assisted by 19 specialist committees, 4 working groups and others making 32 bodies altogether. I don’t what the other ones are. I’ve looked it up and no one seems to want to say so I’m just guessing it’s a few people in a pub, a group of children in reception and some dogs in hats. Basically, there’s loads more negotiations to go. At the moment the UK has become a third country, the EU have definitely got a better deal of all this and we haven’t got that much in return despite all the bravado of phlegm pile David Frost and really the UK can either keep to EU single market rules for tariff free trade, or deviate and find itself with a whole ton of restrictions. Freedom! So yeah BREXIT STILL NOT GOT DONE DONED. The TCA as all the cool kids call it, also had a binding dispute mechanism that means should either the EU or the UK, but let’s face it, the UK, try and funny business, then as European Commission President and upside down vol au vent Ursula Von Der Leyen said, they would use those teeth if necessary. I’m hoping that doesn’t mean they’ll eat us, not least as I’m not sure the export of people as food is covered in the agreement and there’ll be a lot of paperwork involved. The Northern Ireland Protocol means everything is different for Northern Ireland for now until all that is reviewed which then could affect everything else, but for now, things may get slightly easier for anyone who wants to sell pigs to Luxembourg which I assume is a thing. I didn’t look it up I just saw a headline about a pig farmer saying they had too many pigs and so chances are high now, they’ll sell some to Luxembourg or failing that, to David Cameron now he’s got a break between lobbying goals. None of what the TCA delivers has been measured against what was promised with Brexit as that will come once COVID is done and normalish trade starts. Trade of services continue to be discussed and finalised in the Memorandum of Understanding which I’m pretty sure is a Harry Potter book.

So that’s that, sort of but not really, but the big issue now is that while the UK can get all its own trading negotiations with everywhere else in order, it hasn’t really. You might remember that a big selling point of Brexit was getting control of our waters, like an advert for incontinence pads. And the Trade and Cooperation Agreement sort of does that with the EU gradually decreasing its fishing quota in UK waters by 25% over the next five years. But while the one hand giveth, the other hand slaps the fishing industry in the face with a big cod, because the government failed to secure a deal with Norway for fishing in the sub-Arctic seas, meaning UK fleets won’t have any access to those icy ponds, and that means no fishing for cod for the rest of the year at least which could put up the price of fish and chips. Yes, not only is that devastating for all of us Brits who only eat fish and chips for three meals a day every day, because otherwise what is patriotism? But it’s worse for a big Hull based fishing trawler that usually catches 10% of fish sold in fish and chip shops and now is grounded till 2022 meaning a lack of income and potential job losses. Thanks to a continuity agreement the UK signed with Norway and Iceland back in December and boasted about it, Norway will be able to import cod to the UK tariff free, while we have to go fish. Or not.

What it also shows is that the idea that the Trade and Cooperation Agreement might help business plan for the future is codswallop if no one has any idea what trade agreements the government will manage to negotiate with other countries. There is a trade deal with Australia that’s due to be signed where Australia’s interest is in increasing food exports to the UK. Will that effect the farming industry? We have no idea as it’s all down to Wobbly nodding head toy Liz Truss and wherever she wants a photo opportunity. Same with the US deal, and all the others that they have lined up. Where was it again? The Faroe islands? Some asteroid that only comes near the Earth every 400 years? Something like that. As the fishing industry have abruptly realised this week, Brexit has indeed allowed us to take back control, but that’s only because so much has been given away, no one will be that keen on what we have left and they’ll leave it to us to ruin instead.

And now back to Mohga…

INTERVIEW WITH MOHGA PART 2

Many thanks to Mohga for that and for agreeing to chat quite last minute when I was certain this might be a guestless episode. You can find her on twitter at @MohgaKamalYanni and on her website at access2healthcare.net which is where you’ll also find her blog. The People’s Vaccine campaign can be found at peoplesvaccine.org where you can also find their list of how to take action and links to their Twitter and Facebook too. Please do join the campaign.

Had some great suggestions for guests lately so ta to all of you who’ve sent those in. Slightly different yet exactly the same ask this week. Rather than specific guests, I just wanna know topics that I haven’t yet talked to someone about on this show, or need to do an update on. What questions have you got about the politics that you’d like answered? Let me know and I’ll get searching for someone to ask about it. You can of course, let me know at partlypoliticalbroadcast@gmail.com. Yeah I just plugged that one this week. How does that feel? What? You miss the unnecessarily long list of communication channels? Sigh ok. Just for you @parpolbro on twitter, the Partly Political Broadcast group on Facebook, the contact page at partlypoliticalbroadcast.co.uk or email me on partlypoliticalbroadcast@gmail.com. Or why not borrow obscene amounts of money to have your recommendation wallpapered across a public office in gold gilt only to find that instead of being impressed and enjoying your suggestions, I’ll simply now also have disdain for your complete lack of taste in optioning to decorate your home like a failed optical illusion, as well as everything else about you. So as always, it’s probably just best to email isn’t it?

END

And now everyone, it’s time to say goodbye to this week’s episode of the Partly Political Broadcast podcast. Goodbye musically deprived jingles, goodbye over the top descriptions of politicians, goodbye all the burps that I have to edit out from the recordings, goodbye terrible pronunciations of things that I did look up and hear the correct pronunciations of and still got them wrong, goodbye vague and incomplete understandings of important issues, goodbye content that 100% relies on things being awful and would definitely collapse if we ever eventually did live in a fair and equal society, goodbye all the spare time I would have on a Monday if I only did work that was financially beneficial to me, goodbye asking you that if you enjoyed this you can definitely donate money to the ko-fi, patreon or Acast supporter sites or maybe even review the show or tell people about it. Goodbye listeners, goodbye, goodbye. Oh, actually wait, sorry I forgot some stuff and it looks like it’s raining so maybe give it a minute.

THANKS YEAH to Acast, the Last Skeptik, Kat Day and Katie Coxall.

This will be back next week when Boris Johnson asks for people to bung a bob to keep BoJo bonking and sets up a GoFundMe for some new pants because Lord Brownlow refuses to buy him gold ones.

BYEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

This week’s show was sponsored by Norwegian Fisk and Frites, the traditional British dish. Have them wrapped in that classic British paper the Aftenposten and have them smothered in dill and lime like you used to with your mor like you used to as a kid when out hunting elg under the Aurora Borealis. Traditional British Norwegian Fisk and Frites. Skol!

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