Last one in No.10 turn off the lights. Or in fact, just do that now or the cost will be astronomical and Rishi Sunak won’t help with the bill. An interview free podcast this week on all change at Downing Street, the rising energy costs and Boris Johnson losing his brand to comedians and protestors.
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Ep260
Hello and welcome to the Partly Political Broadcast, the comedy politics podcast that has also resigned from its position at No.10. Not Downing Street, just the place down the road where they keep asking me to get out of their garden. I’m Tiernan Douieb and this week I’m yet again baffled why the government aren’t tacking the rising energy costs properly when they’ll be the hardest hit on account of their constant and excessive gaslighting.
British people are facing the biggest drop in living standards since records began, which I think was for the phonograph in 1931. As someone who spent most of the last two years in the same pair of stained tracksuit bottoms while living on a diet of mostly crisps and alcohol, I’m very worried as I honestly didn’t think I could get much lower than that. Energy bills are going to rise substantially because according to the Chancellor Rishi Sunak, a man who thinks compassion means to have sex with a laptop, Britain had a colder winter than usual. Which it didn’t but let’s be fair to him, it’s probably hard to tell if you’re cold blooded. Sunak says the government can’t artificially hold energy prices, which is possibly because they’ve already used up all their unnatural additives preserving the energy companies and banks. The problem is there’s too much global demand for energy right now, which I can 100% understand as I haven’t had any in ages and even stronger coffee isn’t working. So, what are we to do when it’s a global issue and the UK privatised all its energy ages ago so all our gas costs more because it constantly has to travel to Europe and back which, when you think about how much it costs for sausages to do that post-Brexit, no wonder it’s pricey.
Never fear though as the Chancellor has another tip top plan to help, like when he decided the best way to help people struggling during a pandemic was to give them £10 off in restaurants so they’d be more likely to catch Covid and die and he wouldn’t have to hear them whining about having no support anymore. This time though, and standing in front of a podium simply saying ‘Downing Street’ possibly to suggest he could one day be Prime Minister, or more likely to remind everyone still drunk from last night’s party exactly where they are, Sunak announced that he has seen that a country already full to the brim with people in fuel poverty are going to have an increase of £700 on their bills and said – I mean this is brilliant – that he will make them have £200, that they then have to pay back with interest at £40 a month over 5 years. You have to wonder if Rishi Sunak actually understands numbers and maths or if, being unbelievably rich and married to a tax-dodging billionaire, maybe he has never had to so just makes them up as he goes along. Perhaps, when buying a pint of milk, which he almost certainly never does himself as that’s what underpaid house servants are for, he sees that it’s 60p and offers the supermarket twelvty pounds fivesies on the condition that they also pay him twelvty pound fivesies every month for 30 years. When interviewers ask him about policies, maybe what we should be checking is if the man in charge of the country’s finances knows what money is or if, from a life of privilege he just assumes most things are paid for by someone else and has been found several times in car showrooms asking which ones he can get in exchange for a potato? £200 to pay a £700 bill, and then have to pay back, is the absolute opposite of helpful. It’s helping an old lady cross the road by shouting ‘hurry up’ at her, then demanding you carry her back over as you’ve got places to be, when she hadn’t asked for your help in the first place. I’m sure we’ll all just be able to tell Rishi that we don’t want to pay it back and he’ll have to just write it off, and he can shove it in a drawer with that £4.3bn of fraudulent covid claims he can’t be bothered to chase up. Or the massive profits from companies like Shell and BP that Sunak doesn’t want to tax in-case it stops them investing in the UK because no one benefits the country quite like the companies causing the most pollution. Without them, global warming would slow-down and the Earth would get cooler. Can you imagine how much we’d have to have the heating on then eh? Exactly. If anything, by letting people freeze to death while allowing Shell and BP to keep their massive profits, in years to come those people will be fossilised and then the big companies can extract them to use as fuel which will eventually lower cost if there’s still a planet by that point. So, if anything Sunak is looking out for our great, great, great grandchildren. Sorry, I mean his great, great, great grandchildren and only his.
No.10 Downing Street seem to have a novel way to keep their energy costs down. No, it’s not making sure all the fridges for booze or hiding are kept closed for longer. Instead, it’s letting everyone resign so there’ll be even fewer lights on or rooms they need to heat. Not that it’d matter as you’d pay for that anyway, but it’s nice they want to cut your costs like that. On Thursday last week, four senior aides quit, followed by a fifth on Friday mostly because, they say, the Prime Minister and derelict bungalow made of cheesecake Boris Johnson had announced there would be a shake-up of Downing Street staff. I mean, no wonder they went. The idea that that harried bundle of bullshit might grab you and give you a team building ruffle is the worst thing I could imagine. What he actually meant, though who ever really knows with Johnson, is that he was going to fire people anyway because of the culture of alcohol and parties they were associated with. You know by being at No.10 where the Prime Minister kept having alcohol and parties. I’m not entirely sure how getting rid of aides will help when there are supposedly pictures of the Prime Minister with a can of booze at his own birthday celebration as taken by the official Downing Street photographer, as if he heard about the other evidence for his illegal parties and decided to literally hold its beer. Still, it is a relief to know that he does actually drink beer, you know, like the people, rather than stand with all those poured pints just for profile and then pour it down the drain to drink from his hip flask of champagne like I had assumed. Maybe the idea is that if all the aides are gone, Johnson would have to drag a suitcase to the co-op himself to fill it with booze and like most of his plans, he’d be unlikely to actually go through with it because it’s too much effort.
One of the aides, now former policy chief Munira Mirza, who is clearly the sort of person who thinks binging on the Waitrose essentials range is slumming it, left because of Boris Johnson’s false claims about leader of the opposition and man who’s voice sounds like when there’s a problem with a printer Keir Starmer. Johnson had said during Prime Minister’s questions that Starmer had failed to prosecute paedo wraith Jimmy Savile when he was Director of Public Prosecutions. Which isn’t true, as Starmer was too busy at the time not prosecuting the Met Police officers who killed Jean Charles De Menzies and he can’t have been doing two abuses of the justice system at once. Johnson however has refused to retract this lie despite being too scared to say it outside of parliamentary privilege where it’d be instantly libellous. Interesting that Mirza was so appalled by that bit of fibbery, when having worked for Johnson as London Mayor from 2008-2016 and then with him as PM, she must hear bullshit every 5 minutes. She’s known for repeatedly saying that people are exaggerating the issue of racism and being pals with people who write for Spiked, a magazine that has some of the worst opinions about anything usually written by 1200 head Brendan O’Neill who’s based his entire career on seeing what the most reasonable take on a situation might be and saying the exact opposite while shitting himself across a page. But this one particular lie by Johnson must’ve just conveniently pointed at the exact same way as Mirza’s broken compass, or maybe in a brainstorm with Johnson about how to make it look like it had any validity that was the first thing they could come up with, and now she’s out. Which is lucky as if she’d held on till Sunday, she might have heard Business Secretary and Lewis in Spongebob Kwasi Kwarteng back the Prime Minister saying that crime has fallen by 14% but only if you forget that everyone was stuck indoors for most of last year and if you discount fraud. Which is actually what Rishi Sunak likes to do. I’m sure Mirza wouldn’t have been as upset about that lie because she clearly doesn’t think of fraud as a crime either which is why several PPE transactions involving her, the Home Secretary and former Health Secretary were referred to the serious fraud office last year. Maybe I’m being cynical and actually, Mirza and the other aides all just wanted a leaving party like everyone else they’ve heard about. Or also possible, they were actually so sick of the endless parties and the only way to leave them was to resign, because as we’ve already found out from this government an Irish exit won’t be successful.
The Prime Minister has already replaced the parliamentary with a speed that suggests he just went for whoever he’d last asked to run to the office for him. The new chief of staff is the man who is impossible to picture even if you’re looking right at him, the absolute nothingness that is Stephen Barclay. Thing is, Stephen Barclay is an MP and the Chief of Staff is a full time job and is usually given to a civil servant, but Johnson decided that this time a man who is well known during his time as Brexit Secretary voted against the agreement he’d backed just 20 minutes before, that this was the guy to do several jobs really badly all at once. His new Director of Comms is Guto Harri who looks like an even more predatory Louis CK, and has headed to number 10 not long after resigning from GB News, the channel that seems to exist as a news station like how you might put a wheelie bin in a car park space to say that it’s taken as there’s something there. Harri has worked for Johnson before, when he was London Mayor, and while knowing he’s the sort of person that’d make the same mistake twice rings many alarm bells, he’s been a very vocal critic of the Prime Minister recently, calling him hugely divisive and sexually incontinent. Which is exactly the sort of thing a remainer like Harri would say, as any real Brexit believer would know Johnson is sexually outcontinent. Days after his appointment, the new Director of Comms stated that Boris Johnson is not a complete clown, so it’s good to know he fits into government by having ideas of what good PR is much like Sunak’s ideas of how to really help the public. I mean he is of course right, Johnson is not a complete clown, as clowns have years of training to be open minded, creative, honest and self-depricating. Whereas the Prime Minister just has hair that looks like a shit wig. According to Harri, when he asked Johnson if he was going to survive, the Prime Minister sang Gloria Gaynor’s hit I Will Survive at him. Not a great choice for someone you’ve just recruited when it includes the lyrics ‘go, walk out the door.’
But yes, as predicted, it doesn’t seem like the Prime Minister plans to go anywhere reportedly saying it’d take an army of tanks to get him out of Downing Street. I’m guessing he means nitreous oxide ones as we all know he’ll head to where the party is at. In the same interview as his criminally wrong stats, Kwarteng said in regards to Boris Johnson staying as Prime Minister, we just needed to give him time and space to deliver. All of time and space? Fucking hell, is he now following the Thanos playbook? Which I suppose would be in line with his absolute disregard for trying to kill off half the population. 100 MPs are apparently ready to vote against Johnson in a no confidence vote, which just leaves the other 260 MPs who will probably keep him in place because they’re fucked if they have any better ideas. Not that many are being public about it though, aside from the Business Secretary and of course the Culture Secretary and artist’s impression of a never ending car crash Nadine Dorries, who has appeared on several interviews this past week making viewers ever pleased smellovision never took off or they’d be pissed from the booze fumes emanating from their screen. In a truly weird BBC Breakfast interview she refused to say how much she communicates with Boris Johnson, which many took to mean she might be another on his list of paramours, the very notion of those two bumping uglies like a shambolic scarecrow sumo match being enough to increase NHS hospital admittance tenfold. I wondered if it was more that it’s hard to put into words, especially for Dorries who is only able to construct sentences if they contain aggressive trolling or shit romance novel exposition. But you know how certain creatures have ways of communicating between each other that we can’t understand? There is every chance that Dorries and Johnson, two unbelievably awful people with that similar straw on top of an old yoghurt appearance may well have some sort of special psychic moron way of talking to each other through seemingly nonsensical bumblings. How to convey something like that to a mere BBC interviewer and one who was definitely sober at that?
The Health Secretary and wow the Aang from Avatar: The Last Airbender is unwell Sajid Javid backed the Prime Minister in-between insisting the plan to clear the NHS backlog isn’t delayed due to the Treasury having issues with funding it. Yeah yeah, I bet Rishi Sunak wants to tell people that he’ll give them an aspirin towards their missed appointments but they’ll then have to pay for his private healthcare for the next 5 years. The plan has been delayed again because, Javid said, of chaos caused by Omicron. Oh I see Sajid, have you and your staff not learned to live with it yet then? Excuses, excuses. Javid says the backlog will get worse and then get better, which is probably because people who are really in need of care and can’t get seen will die off and free up the spots. The Health Secretary supported Johnso though and said that despite the challenges, the Prime Minister is delivering. Is he? What is he delivering? I’m not sure any of us ordered that. Are you sure you have the right address? Javid also defended Johnson’s wife and woman with default something stuck in your back teeth face Carrie Johnson, after claims were made that she influences her husband’s decision making. Yeah, but can’t anyone do that? Isn’t it just whoever he’s last in the room with? I’m pretty certain Johnson would have his mind changed by a Downing Street cleaner if he was able to see them as human beings. According to Carrie defenders and Javid, attacks on her are off limits as she is a private individual who plays no role in government. Cool, but then how come she was seen drinking at all those work events then?
There will apparently be further changes to Johnson’s Downing Street team this week, so we can fully expect Stephen Barclay to be given 6 more jobs that Johnson has no understanding of, while several other aides who have previously had zero problem with the government who have revelled in corruption and populism will now resign because Johnson said he didn’t like a brand of biscuit or used a racial slur that was from after the 1800s so is actually offensive. Meanwhile as that dance continues and Johnson stays at No.10 because he’s clearly always the last one to go, the rest of us will be paying for energy while the government wastes all theirs. If only there was a way to store and use all their releases of daily hot air. I suppose the issue would be that some of it, due to alcohol content, would be too flammable for safe use.
In other news, stretched chipmunk and DUP politician Paul Givan resigned as First Minister of Northern Ireland last week as part of protests against the Northern Ireland Protocol because there’s no better protest against the Irish Sea Border quite like removing yourself from any sort of position of being able to do anything about it. The DUP are angry that the Protocol impacts on the Belfast Agreement without cross community support for those changes. But Givan resigning means Westminster are likely to vote through the NI Ministers, Elections and Petitions of Concern Bill, which will also make changes to the Belfast agreement without cross community support and apparently that’s fine. The protests started last Wednesday when NI Agriculture minister and name most descriptive of the things he says Edwin Poots ordered the suspension of checks on goods between Britain and Northern Ireland based on legal advice he’d received, possibly from someone in a pub or on the internet who’d done their own research by reading webcomics or toilet graffiti. Northern Ireland Secretary and the one who always looks like she spends her evenings practicing spells Theresa Villiers suggested that this action will apparently tell Europe that the protocol is undermining political stability in Northern Ireland. Yes, it’s definitely the protocol that did that, and not escapee from a hall of mirrors Poots doing his own thing and the DUP deciding that’s better than actual policy. You’d think the DUP would be almost appreciative that the Protocol has united Northern Irish politicians in having something else to blame for once.
Housing Secretary and face that could hide forever in a butcher’s window Michael Gove released the levelling up white paper last Wednesday, only for it to emerge that large parts of it that are bizarrely about the history of Constantinople and Jericho, had just been copied off Wikipedia. Though judging by the Prime Minister’s understanding of history, that is likely to be a far more reliable resource than any of Gove’s colleagues. If copy and pasting is the levelling up the government are really aiming for, then I suggest we all get editing Wikipedia asap so it actually contains policies we like.
And lastly, the Prime Minister has criticised comedian and vent doll Jimmy Carr for his really grim joke about the Gypsy and Romany victims of the Holocaust on his Netflix special, sayings it’s unacceptable to make light of genocide. Especially I assume because that’s his remit and he doesn’t want that sort of competition now his jobs on the line. How will Johnson get away with doing jokes about the Libyan City of Sirte becoming the next Dubai if they just clear the dead bodies away, like he did when Foreign Secretary? Let’s hope Carr doesn’t talk about letting the bodies pile high in his next one or Johnson’s tour will be screwed and Carr will be leader of the Conservatives in no time. Javid, Dorries and other MPs have all criticised Carr’s joke too, but at the same time are forcing through the Policing Bill that basically makes criminalises the already marginalised Gypsy and Romany people if they stop in places not designated for them, even though there aren’t any places designated for them. Still, I suppose if travelling communities are forced by fascist measures to stay in one place, at least that will make it easier for Jimmy Carr to do a gig just for them and see how it goes down.
And just as I started recording this, two anti-vax protestors have been arrested for surrounding Keir Starmer after he left parliament, shouting traitor at him and asking if he liked working for the new world order. No idiot, it’s pronounced new labour. Boris Johnson took to twitter to condemn the absolutely disgraceful behaviour directed at the leader of the opposition. Again, he must just feel his brand image is really at threat. Next thing you know someone will having more parties and kids than him and he’ll have absolutely nothing left.
ADMIN
I mean, that Jimmy Carr joke is fucking horrendous. And as a joke, it’s not even a well set up gag. Apparently, he’s made some big statement about how he’s going to go down swinging, which won’t be great news to his wife unless she’s into that too. ARF. And he said how all the gags will be cancelled in ten years and it’s good to make light of serious issues. Yeah of course it is, but I guess we all have different ideas of what making light means. For me, it’s criticising those in power but for him, its laughing about how a group that is already disempowered from society were killed by Nazis. I don’t entirely blame Jimmy though. He’s been saying horrific gags for years and years and he’s kept being given contracts and TV shows. He made a joke about gypsy women smelling bad in 2006 on Radio 4’s Loose Ends and he still got booked after that. Last time I saw him live he did jokes about date rape that made me do that sort of stare you might do if you saw a kid eating something from a bin. His joke style is always really blunt, really grim jokes that have no context so can’t even be justified by seeing the full set or whatever. But someone also edited that show, commissioned it, put it on Netflix and they’re to blame too. I feel like some sort of traitor discussing another comedian’s conduct, but holy shit, complaining that in ten years none of these jokes will be acceptable, is such a weird thing to be sad about. I mean no. Time moves on. People progress and understand and change. Loads of my jokes from ten years ago were awful, but luckily I’m not famous so no one will ever see them again. They were fine when I told them, then I learned and time changed and now I’ll never say them again and that’s great. I mean, also some just aren’t getting said again as they were pure shit. I’m not gonna pull a Victoria Coren and say Jimmy’s lovely man but he was very nice to me backstage at the Comedy Store once when I was bricking it and I’ll never forget that, and of course I know many acts that know him really well but if he said it, he either believes it which means he’s a racist or he’s saying it anyway which is enabling racism and it’s not just a joke if you have a platform of millions. Similarly, Joe Rogan isn’t just a comedian when he’s doing serious interviews and giving a platform to racist views. I just don’t know why anyone takes anything we do seriously when our job should be mainly to make people laugh and clearly we’ve all got something wrong with us that we chose this as a career. It’s amazing how Jimmy Carr was the one brought up to condemn tax avoidance when he did it, meanwhile David Cameron and his buddies were also doing it. Now he’s the one doing unacceptable jokes, while Johnson makes those most days and is even worse at it. Maybe Carr has a contract with the Tories to be their fall guy? He’s always been very business like that. I remember some gigs in the Austrian Alps I did and he was on and he flew in to headline a show then flew straight back to the UK to do a corporate gig after. Fucking weird. Sure pay and that but damn it’s soulless. The idea of not even wanting to stay for a beer or a fondue in a location like that because there’s more work.
Sorry, I didn’t want to talk about any of that. I hate comedian discourse. How are you? Good. I’m glad and let’s face it, you didn’t need that wheelbarrow anyway. You’re here, I’m here, there’s no interview because I’ve cocked that up again so it’s another brief one this week that isn’t that brief as I’m going on about Jimmy Carr. Thanks tons this week to Caroline for the ko-fi donation and to Jason for joining the Patreon, and of course both those options are open to you if you like hearing me say exactly the same shit about online outrage topics that other people are saying only with less clarity and wisdom. Ko-fi for the one off coffee hits that I so desperately need in my life, Patreon if you want to regularly help my desperate need for instant gratification. All our much appreciated and not only help me justify taking time to make this, but also stop me having to do big tours where I say horrific jokes about historical crimes. That isn’t true, it’s also that I wouldn’t be able to sell the seats. Ha! And you know review the show, tell peeps skibbedy dibbedy blah.
That’s kind of it for this week’s show apart from a bit I’ve done about gas. You’re welcome.
WHY IS GAS SO HIGH?
One tip I have for if you’re struggling to pay your energy bills is to, well, not pay them. And then what happens is they send you a letter, and you still don’t pay. Then they send you another letter and you still don’t pay. And anyway you keep this up until you have enough letters with which to make a lovely fire and then you don’t need their stinky energy anyway. Take that Martin Lewis! I am currently awaiting an energy bill from our provider, which is such a shitty way to describe people who make you pay to stay warm. But yes, I am bricking it harder than a Lego factory. As you probably know if you’re someone who uses electricity or gas and isn’t one of those people on Amazing Spaces that have used up 20 years of savings to build a self-sustainable house out of cow poo, then you’ll prob have heard that electricity and gas prices are jumping up a whacking 54% from April. Which means everyone is going to have to pay £700 or so more per year than they already do. Already 13% of people in England, 25% in Scotland, 12% in Wales and 18% in Northern Ireland are in fuel poverty, which is basically the same as poverty but when they pretend that because you can’t pay your heating bills you are basically rich in every other way. Sure, its freezing in here but that’s how I like having my banquet in my mansion and I wouldn’t have it any other way. So, there’s going to be a ton of people in trouble and freezing come next winter. Perhaps the cold hearted government are just trying to make people more like them?
Prices have spiked because, well, demand has increased, particularly in Asia for liquified natural gas supplies, but also due to there being very little wind in the summer, apart from round mine after those Jerusalem artichokes. That means wind energy has been hard to generate. Again, apart from round mind…yeah yeah, you get it. Then a cold winter in Europe reduced the amount of gas stored. They should really try Jerusalem artichokes. I became a human balloon after just one. No wonder they’re known as fartichokes. The increase in demand meant that because the market loves money and hates people, prices rose and that affects us here in particular cos we use gas loads of gas for heating and to generate electricity. We are always having a gas in the UK. Just not in any kind of actually fun way. The energy price cap meant companies couldn’t charge customers more than a certain amount, but with price rises that just killed off a ton of smaller companies like Bulb that didn’t have any bright ideas of how to survive it, or People’s Energy which really did sound like it was generated by a bunch of people on giant hamster wheels. So now the price cap has been raised and energy companies can charge you for the way in which you, yes you, clearly, personally had an effect on energy supplies during the pandemic, just like when you caused that global financial crash in 2008 with just your credit card debt. Honestly, just stop it yeah? You’re really messing things up for the rest of us.
According to Rishi Sunak, rising energy prices are something we’ll have to get used to, you know just as we’re learning to live with Covid which makes you wonder if the virus is insistent on having the heating on. And his promise to take the sting out of energy prices is to give you a one-off payment of not enough money to cope with the heating bills and then make you pay it back while still suffering further heating bills. It’s a bit like helping you deal with a stab wound by giving you half a bandage and then insisting you repay him in regular blood donations. You can’t say no to the £200 energy bill loan if you’re going to receive it and then you’ll have to pay back £367 over several years. So not really a loan, more a tax, or levy, to add to the rise in national insurance, rise in council tax, cuts to universal credit and wages stagnating as the cost of living rises but remember they aren’t raising taxes, they’re just paying off all the debt from the poor decisions they made that you had nothing to do with. Still though, at least you’ll be able to temporarily use that £200 to not do anything you want to with it. It’ll dent your heating bills in the same way a if a lorry is about to plough you down on the road, kicking it as it does will definitely help.
According to Sunak, it is impossible to artificially hold down energy prices, which is interesting because Shell, you know that big oil company so called because if you put your ear to one of their board meetings you can hear the sea dying, they announced last week that their profits increased 14-fold, which is like, a really complex origami. They’ve gained $20bn in profits and are giving shareholders $8.5bn in share buybacks. But Sunak is refusing to put a windfall tax on companies that are profiting off people choosing whether to starve to death or freeze to death while they kill the planet, because as the Chancellor said ‘that might deter investment’. Ah yes. It might put Shell off sponsoring the Science Museum so they don’t display info about climate change, so kids don’t see it and realise that Shell is ruining the very world they live on. That’d be just terrible.
You might have seen that France are forcing their state-owned energy company EDF to limit price hikes to no more than 4%, which is something then can do because EDF, is, as I’ve just said, state owned. Norway is subsidising energy bills, the Netherlands has cut energy taxes for 8 million households, Italy have put nearly 10 billion euros since July in curbing prices. And us idiots are just going to go bankrupt staying warm while in Sept to November last year, we exported over 30,000 Gigawatt hours, Gigathese hours of gas through a big old pipeline to Europe. That’s cos way back in 1986 woman with a dead pheasant for a head Margaret Thatcher introduced the gas act which led to the privatising of the market and now companies take the gas from British land and rocks, pipe it elsewhere and then we pay them to pipe it back to pay for bills. Totally makes sense right? It’s a bit like if someone nicks your bike and then you see it on eBay and have to paypal them to get it again, only now it costs more than when you bought it. And the person nicking it was allowed to do that because the government said so. More fracking, drilling or however else you get gas, beans right? YES I MADE THE SAME JOKE AGAIN BECAUSE ITS NEVER NOT FUNNY. FACT. Anyway, none of that will make much difference to prices as it’d just get sold abroad anyway. Green renewable energy would make a difference if we didn’t all have shitty old gas boilers in our homes – you make your own outdated jokes – and homes were insulated better and all the things that Insulate Britain lie in motorways to talk about but then get make everyone angry because not being able to use the M25 means they can’t pollute the air while earning not enough money to pay for the heating bills they’ll get.
None of Sunak’s schemes are going to help much at all, the only real way to change it is renationalisation of energy, an actual attempt to run the country on green energy or I dunno, storming the Houses of Parliament and dismantling it as tons of it is wood and would make an excellent start for a fire. There is of course nuclear energy, and a nuclear power plant would deliver far more cost-effective energy but as a kid of the 80s all I can do is envision it having a meltdown and making most of the UK uninhabitable for 50 years but then I guess that’s not too different to how things are anyway. Perhaps that’d even be proper levelling up?
If you are worried, like me, some energy suppliers have payment plans and if it’s applicable to you, the warm homes discount is being expanded. There is some help out there. But otherwise, you know its pressuring MPs, some sort of mass nationwide endless protest or I guess we all just get very cold for a bit. Well, I say everyone, but you know, MPs claim their energy bills on expenses, so I expect them, and their horses will be just fine. Who knows, maybe the government will get toasty enough to be less cold hearted with their policies. Or failing that, just fucking overheat and pass out so someone else can do it.
END
And that’s all for this week’s Partly Political Broadcast podcast this week. Yeah, nice one for tuning in, and as always, do a good un and recommend this show to others if anyone you know actually listens to you. I mean in my home I say all sorts of things, but they mostly go ignored. If you do hold some sort of power in communication, do let others know you like this show and maybe they would too, perhaps give it a review on one of the never-ending podcast homes and if you can afford to, please also support this show in a financial way rather than just emotional at ko-fi.com/parpolbro or by joining the patreon.com/parpolbro.
Cheers m’dears to Acast, Kat Day and my brother the Last Skeptik.
This will be back next week when Boris Johnson is the only person left in Downing Street and an army of tanks are deployed to remove him, but he doesn’t come out and its realised he meant oxygen tanks because he’s so knackered from all the parties he can’t make it down the stairs without one.
BYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
This week’s show was sponsored by Rishi Sunak which is why you only get a shortened version to fill the hour of audio you need, but in return you will have to keep making 15 minute podcasts for me to hear, every month for 5 years.