Further Reading

HEADLINES: 

Junior Doctors Protest

Universal Credit investigated by the Institute Of Fiscal Studies

US Presidential Election Campaign – The Iowa Caucus

SUBJECTS COVERED: 

EU Referendum / Brexit Campaign – David Cameron’s EU negotiations

The UKIP party political broadcast

Labour dealing with complaints from Muslim Women’s Network that female Muslim candidates are blocked from council elections

Best description of Donald Trump in this episode: 

‘broken wind sock being humped by a shiatsu’

Transcript

Hello and welcome to the Partly Political Broadcast. I’m Tiernan Douieb which is an anagram of Obtained Urine. See? You learn something new everyday. I’mve been writing and recording this week’s episode from the heart of the European Union, Belgium. Well not quite the heart as I’m in Antwerp not Brussels, so it’s more sort of the left common carotid artery of the EU. Yes I looked that up. And yes I still feel clever. I’ve been doing these amazing shows with poets, jazz musicians and me being the only comedian and bizarrely, Belgian audiences totally like that and don’t get all confused as to what type of show it is. Though I have learned that if a jazz band tells you they’re playing one more song and then you’re on, it still means you have a ridiculously long time to wait till your bit. Despite being here, asking a few people I know and generally tweeting I have completely failed to get an interview with anyone about EU stuff, which is probably to do with only having 5 hours in Brussels itself and that being on a Sunday. It’s almost as if Twitter can’t solve all the problems. Crazy huh? However I have asked various Belgians what they think of the EU and they said ‘It’s ok I guess. I’m glad we have it. I don’t really know, I don’t think about it much.’ Before cycling off. A bigger issue here is the general anti-refugee sentiment, much like a lot of Europe. Just this past week, the governor of West Flanders Carl Decaluwe told aid workers not to feed refugees as it’ll just attract more to the area. Now there’s a chance he’s confused migrants with migrating pigeons there as that’s definitely not how humans work with food, otherwise working in a supermarket would be terrifying. ‘Don’t open the doors, one of them smelled bread now there’s 6000 people outside.’ One of the most hypocritical things about this governor’s pretty callous statement is that he’s part of CDNV the Belgian Christian Democratic party and saying not to feed people is pretty un-Christian right? Or is that what actually happened in the Bible when Jesus said he fed the 5000? He only meant to give bread and fish to one guy but then suddenly turns of others turned up?

Anyway, what I’m trying to say is, as forewarned, there is no interview this week. But fear not, it’s not just my boring voice the whole way through! I’ll be dissecting the recent UKIP Party Broadcast because, well, I thought it was awful and a load of nonsense, so you get to hear their boring voice too! And the crowd rejoiced!

Thanks again for listening to this show and your lovely comments on the iTunes. We’ve now had 9 all of which say nice things and have boosted us into the ‘new and noteworthy’ section of the comedy bit which is great. So if you have any other nice things to say please do. If you don’t have nice things to say, why not try singing or humming some instead?

So this week :

HEADLINES

Junior doctors went on a marched protest on Saturday again against Jeremy Hunt’s proposed contract changes and they are due to go on strike again for 24 hours this Wednesday Feb 10^th. Jeremy Hunt has accused the doctor’s of being totally irresponsible, at which point most of the nations pots and kettles all gave up and resigned. Jeremy Hunt insists current junior doctor’s contracts are ‘unfair’ but won’t explain why he wants to make them even worse, instead saying the British Medical Association are spreading misinformation. What, you mean like saying under the new contract junior doctors would get a pay rise when they are actually getting a pay cut? Hmm. Head back to episode one for our interview with the brilliant Keir Shiels for more info on it all.

Universal Credit, a system that should probably be named ‘Internationally Panned’, has been investigated by the Institute Of Fiscal Studies. They say that it will have a damaging effect on millions of working families and in the words of The Equality Trust, ‘would leave the poorest running up the down escalator’. I don’t know if you’ve ever tried that, but I think it stopped being easy at some point in my mid-20s and even then, mostly annoyed the other people on it. Iain Duncan Smith originally stated that his crap idea number 6732, Universal Credit, would make ‘work pay’. Which is a) what work is meant to do, otherwise it’s slave labour, and b) with families now set to lose 76p to every £1 they earn, it really won’t pay very much. The Department of Work and Pensions has responded to the report by doing what it always does, pretending they’ve not heard anything that it says. They said it was great that the analysis shows that ‘Universal Credit will make work pay and increase financial incentives for people to work more.’ Those financial incentives being avoiding homelessness, and not starving to death.

In the US, the Iowa caucus, the first for party presidential nominations, was held last week with important political outcomes being decided by archaic methods like coin tosses, proving US elections are even more about money than we already thought. Hilary Clinton, a woman who strikes me as someone who says ‘I don’t mean to be rude but’ a lot, beat Bernie Sanders by 0.3% which was mainly due to preference from older voters, while Bernie, forever seeming like a minor character from Cheers, was favoured by younger ones who were hoping for a pocket money increase or extra toffees next time they visit him.

For the Republicans Ted Cruz had a 3 point lead on broken wind sock being humped by a shiatsu Donald Trump, which is great news as it just means a different psychopath is in the lead to the one we were worried about it being. Final candidates to run for president will be chosen in July, with the full election in October, when we all get to see who gets to run the one big country that operates like 50 smaller dysfunctional ones. I’ll do more explaining of it all on Partly Political as it gets nearer.

LEAVING EU

If you thought there was only way to Brexit, you are wrong. It seems there are actually enough ways to scarper from the EU that Paul Simon could write a song about it. As a result, there are lots of anti-EU campaign groups all of which seem to be squabbling between them who knows how to leave a thing best and all hoping the Prime Minister will choose them as the official Out campaign. Merger attempts between the groups have this week caused the Labour MP Kate Hoey to quit the Vote Leave group. Vote Leave is made up of various Conservative MPs, UKIP’s Douglas Carswell and is headed up by Lord Nigel Lawson, a man who wants to leave the EU so much, that he lives in France. Not only that but the donor of Vote Leave, Peter Cruddas, has just signed a document warning of the risks of leaving the EU for his company CMC Markets. So y’know, they’re really committed to the cause.

Kate Hoey is still part of the Labour Leave group and is now supporting the Grassroots Out group which now has branded ties to make all the members look like they work an alternate reality version of PC World where staff have even less of a clue about what’s going on. Grassroots Out is also largely made up of some of the worst people on the planet including Disgraced Former Defence Secretary Liam Fox and Nigel Farage. I’m pretty sure I’d have more trust in a campaign led by a piece of half eaten toast.

All of this has happened in the aftermath of David Cameron’s EU deal which included an emergency break to stop providing in work benefits to EU migrants for 4 years. This largely ignores the slowing of UK wage growth that’s led to needing in work benefits or all the official figures that suggest most EU migrants don’t need them anyway but hey, ‘emergency brake’ sounds dramatic right? I wonder if it only happens after we’ve all checked our mirrors and Cameron slaps his hand on the dashboard? The emergency brake might not actually cut all benefits, it could instead for example, cut child benfits to be the same as that of the EU migrants home country. Which would of course cause heaps of confusion for the Department Of Work And Pensions and considering how confused they already are about how to run the UK benefits system, imagine how they’d deal with 28 countries benefit rates?

The draft bill also included allowing the House Of Commons to band together with other EU parliaments to ‘red card’ Brussels legislations, and that British taxpayers won’t be liable to support the Eurozone and lots of other tiny clauses that make it sounds like Cameron has very much noticed there is a small ‘i’ in Union. This draft has already been backed by Denmark who are currently vehemently anti-immigrant, an odd choice considering their ancestors were Vikings who were the worst immigrants the world ever saw. They didn’t just take jobs, they set fire to them.

But aside from the Danes, Cameron’s EU deal hasn’t impressed anyone in the UK. It’s not pro-EU enough for some and not strong enough for the out campaigners. Lovechild of a bag of piglets bred with Worzel Gummidge, Boris Johnson said the deal needed much much more and it seems it’s changed anyone’s minds who already knew how they’d be voting in the referendum. The Prime Minister asked MPs to vote with their heart. Or I’m guessing if they don’t have one of those, flipping a coin would do. He also asked that we judge him by his EU deal, but I’m guessing that’s only because as shoddy as it is, it’s really not as bad as all the other stuff we’ll probably judge him on instead.

The Prime Minister is obviously concerned that his draft has received a warm welcome, resorting to making up facts based on a possible exit. On Monday he warned that leaving the EU could bring migrant camps like the ‘Calais jungle’ to Britain. Which it couldn’t, as that’s a totally separate agreement from the EU, that’s just between the UK and France. He’s getting all his treaty’s confused. Maybe he should treaty himself to a proper read of what the EU does? Though it might be an idea for us to build a ‘Calais Jungle’ for ourselves anyway, just to ensure there is some affordable accommodation somewhere in the South of England.

We won’t know how this all pans out till the referendum, which is predicted as being on June 23^rd which is a great time for elections, coming just after a mayoral and local one in May. That way people really won’t be bothered to vote in this one. And between now and then it’s up to the Vote Stay and Vote Leave parties to persuade those that can be bothered to vote, to go their way, based on whichever mistruths and un-researched figures they’re peddling. That’s if all the Vote Leave lot haven’t already left their own campaign by then. Maybe they just like leaving stuff? Though if that’s the case, it’d be nice if maybe they just left us all alone?

UKIP party political broadcast:

I had the misfortune of seeing UKIP’s latest party political broadcast as it was shown just after the BBC News last Wednesday. Calling it a party political broadcast is probably a bit unfair, as it contains so many inaccuracies, it’s almost a work of fiction. The film seems to be an anti-tourist board advert for Turkey, a ‘Wish You Weren’t Here’ if you like, listing reason after reason why the EU is a bad thing, mainly because Turkey may be in it at some point. Ofcom are currently investigating the advert after several complaints of racial offence, Islamaphobia and bias against Turkey. I think the part of the problem is that, a bit like Ricky Gervais’s Derek, we weren’t quite sure if it was meant to be a comedy or not. So I thought I’d dissect it for you piece by piece and explain what they got wrong or, if anything, got right:

MUSIC

I’m not 100% sure but I think this might be the music for the Zeybek dance, which is from the 17^th century but still performed today, where dancers simulate being hawks. Which I suppose is suitable as like hawks, UKIP also go for a lot of carrion. Over the top of this music they show the Turkish flag and in big letters, white letters obviously, they’ve emblazoned ‘The risks of staying in the EU: No 1’ which unfortunately means this might be part of a series despite the pilot not doing very well. ‘No 1 – Turkey joins in 2020?’ Silly question. Everywhere will join in with 2020. That’s how time works. Then there’s several newspaper headlines, some dating back several years all speculating on whether Turkey will join the EU. Because we all know that if a newspaper headline says something, it’s definitely gonna happen right? Like those millions and zillions of Bulgarians that they predicted would come in 2015 and now here we are surrounded by them. There’s one on my laptop right, another on my knee and three in the butter tray! Damn those newspapers!

BEHIND ME IS THE BOSPHORUS WHICH HISTORICALLY SEPARATES EAST FROM WEST

Correct! That’s actually a fact!

PLAY DING NOISE

Now I’ve tried to find out who this presenter is, but oddly her name isn’t listed anywhere. You think you’d want a dubious, possibly racist, unresearched advert on your presenting showreel or CV wouldn’t you? Think of all the work you could get. Broadcasts for Britain First, or er…no that’s it. She’s blonde and dressed all in black like she wants to deliver milk tray or something. Oh god, do you think she’s a spy and she’s snuck into the country illegally? LIKE AN ILLEGAL IMMIGRANT? Woah.

97% OF TURKEY IS ACTUALLY IN ASIA AND ONLY 3% IS IN EUROPE BUT WHAT IF THE WHOLE COUNTRY WERE TO BECOME A MEMBER STATE OF THE EUROPEAN UNION? WELL THAT WOULD EXTEND THE BORDERS OF EUROPE TO IRAQ, IRAN AND SYRIA.

BUZZER NOISE

Yes! What if Turkey joined the EU in 2020? Well firstly, it’s not the Eurovision song contest. Countries can’t just join the EU willy nilly because they like watching stuff about it on the TV, ok Australia? It is very unlikely Turkey will be joining the EU in the next four years. According to the Foreign Office, there is a chance it will join in the next decade but only if the country makes some substantial changes including amongst many others it’s relationship with Greece, improving it’s implementation of women’s rights, and it’s law that punishes anyone that publicly criticises Turkey with a prison sentence. So if you live there, no making adverts about how it shouldn’t join the EU, ok?

So it’s really not going to happen anytime soon. There’s 35 different chapters of renegotiation, and they are only on number 13 at the moment, so chances are we’ll be more likely to see George RR Martin finish the Game Of Thrones books first.

But yes, if that happened it would extend the EU border to Iraq, Iran and Syria, in the same way that if we let the US join then it’d border with Canada and Mexico. Well done for reading a map and making up some ideas missy. Hey, have you thought about helping George RR Martin?

THE POPULATION OF TURKEY IS CURRENTLY AT 75 MILLION BUT THAT IS PROJECTED TO RISE BY 9 MILLION COME 2023,

BUZZER

Wrong –ish. That’s according to the Turkish Statistical Institute. The UN says actually growth will be slower than that and declining, especially after 2050. So by the time it joins the EU, if it joins the EU, it’s population might be smaller then anyway.

THAT WOULD MAKE TURKEY THE EU’S LARGEST MEMBER STATE. TURKEY COULD GET THE MAXIMUM NUMBER OF SEATS IN THE EUROPEAN PARLIAMENT THAT A COUNTRY COULD OCCUPY. THAT’S 96 MEP’S. THE UK ONLY GETS 73.

BUZZER

Yeeeaaaaahhhh but unlikely pound shop Helen Skelton. There can only be 750 seats in the EU overall and they’re passed out based on various different treaties and while smaller countries have fewer residents for each MEP, it’s not a compulsory requirement. Plus considering how they won’t be in the EU in 2020 anyway, if they were I doubt the EU would just say ‘Hey! Have all the seats you like!’ Though considering how rarely UKIP MEP’s turn up to Parliament I’m sure there’s always a few seats going spare.

Also extra BUZZER because they spelled MEPs with an apostrophe at end. You think if UKIP want to live in England they’d learn to write the language eh?

IF TURKEY WERE ALREADY A MEMBER OF THE EU

Yeah but it’s not and it won’t be. Oh god I wish I’d had someone to interview this week.

THEN TECHNICALLY SHE COULD EXPECT TO RECEIVE 1/3 OF THE EU’s ENTIRE STRUCTURAL AID BUDGET, A WHOPPING £11bn AND A FURTHER £8bn IN FARMING SUBSIDES. 3 X MORE THAN UK FARMERS. IT WOULD MEAN THAT THAT TURKEY IS GETTING OUT AS MUCH AS THE UK TAXPAYER IS GETTING IN.

BUZZER BUZZER BUZZER BUZZER

Ok, I’m not being fair here with those buzzers. This isn’t exactly wrong. But that’s only because there isn’t anyway to find out how they got these numbers. EU funds are decided on all sorts of factors as are farming subsidies and UKIP haven’t responded to requests as to where they got these numbers from. So it could be right, but chances are, based on their current record, it’s probably a ton of Borek.

WITH AN AVERAGE MONTHLY SALARY OF £429 IN TURKEY COMPARED TO £2200 IN THE UK, IT’S PREDICTED THAT AS MANY AS 15m MIGRANTS COULD LEAVE IN THE FIRST TWO YEARS

Baring in mind that TURKEY ISN’T GOING TO JOIN THE EU BY 2020 ANYWAY, then, let’s check facts. There are 8 EU states with a lower average monthly salary than Turkey and Turkey is actually the 18^th largest economy in the world, according to the world bank and IMF. Again, QUELLE SURPRISE! – sorry for speaking European, there are no sources for the figures of 15 million migrants at all so it’s probably made up. The Home Affairs Select Committee reckons it’d be more like something between 500,000 to 4.4m. Although bear in mind too that with that £429 a month, they don’t have to pay for the sort of rent or mortgage prices we do in the UK or our crap weather. Or adverts like this on the TV.

IN TURKEY IT’S ACTUALLY A CRIMINAL OFFENCE TO CRITICISE THE GOVERNMENT THAT COULD LAND YOU A JAIL SENTENCE. LAST YEAR NINE JOURNALISTS WENT TO PRISON IN TURKEY. ON A LIST OF PRESS FREEDOMS, TURKEY RANKS #149 OUT OF A 180 COUNTRIES IT MIGHT EXPLAIN WHY I FELT MORE COMFORTABLE FILMING THIS BACK HERE IN THE UK.

So our presenter’s just revealed that a) she’s some sort of journalist, which is impressive as she’s not investigated any of her story so far and b) that she’s actually standing in front of a green screen in the UK all along! So that means when she said:

BEHIND ME IS THE BOSPHORUS WHICH HISTORICALLY SEPARATES EAST FROM WEST

That was also incorrect! Unbelievable! I do wonder if she’s not in Turkey due to ‘press freedom’ or if Nige didn’t want to stump up the budget for a holiday so they filmed in Kent. Also top points for the asterisk that appears saying ‘Figures correct at the time of the recording’ leading to text that says ‘Article 301’. Somehow I doubt that article’s number will change even when recording finishes. Sadly the advert isn’t wrong on the press freedoms claim which is one of the many issues on the long list of REASONS TURKEY WON’T BE IN THE EU BY 2020! WHY AM I STILL WATCHING THIS?

ACCORDING TO A UNITED NATIONS REPORT IN 2011, WOMEN IN TURKEY ARE TEN TIMES MORE LIKELY TO SUFFER PHYSICAL ABUSE OR VIOLENCE THAN THOSE IN EUROPE

BUZZER

Except that same report said 39% of women in Turkey suffered from physical violence, but 19% in the UK did and the average figure was 35% across Europe. So it’s miserable stat, but mathematically speaking, 39% isn’t 10 times 35%. How do you not know how numbers work? Oh wait. That does sort of explain most of UKIP’s campaigns so far doesn’t it?

ITS ESTIMATED THERE’S ONE HONOUR KILLING A WEEK IN ISTANBUL ALONE AND MORE THAN A QUARTER OF TURKISH WOMEN ARE MARRIED BEFORE THEIR 18^th BIRTHDAY.

BUZZER

Again, very sadly, honor killings in Turkey have risen by 1400% in the last few years, though I couldn’t find any official statistic that said one per day in Istanbul. But it is a very serious and upsetting issue and ANOTHER REASON WHY TURKEY ISN’T JOINING THE EU ANYTIME SOON. As for women married before they are 18, it’s probably worth reminding everyone that in the UK you can get married at 16 if you wish, and the anti-child marriage group Girls Not Brides says it’s only 14% of Turkish women married before they are 18. Yeah, still not great but not a quarter. I’m starting to wonder if we should do a kickstarter for UKIP to redo their maths GCSE? And geography. And English. And just generally restart school until they’ve learned something.

AT THE START OF THE LAST CENTURY

Ooh she’s back in Turkey again. Or is she? I mean, considering we’ve been told she’s in front of a green screen, why bother superimposing Turkey in the background anymore? Why not just stand in Wetherspoons as drunk Tony gives you official statistics that he’s just thought of and scrawled on a beer mat so you can read them as results come in?

AT THE START OF THE LAST CENTURY ONE FIFTH OF THE POPULATION WAS CHRISTIAN BUT OVER THE COURSE OF THE LAST 100 YEARS THAT COMMUNITY HAS DRAMATICALLY DISAPPEARED. TODAY ONLY 0.2% OF PEOPLE IN TURKEY PRACTICE CHRISTIANITY OPENLY.

In the UK the number of Christians has dropped by nearly 5% per year and there’s a lot to say that many churches in city areas are only being kept alive by Eastern European church goers. So you know, if we leave the EU, we might be even less of a Christian country. IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT UKIP? IS IT?

As for Turkey, well, it’s never been that much of a Christian country in the first place, especially after so many were murdered in the Armenian genocide, an event that until Turkey recognises THEY CAN’T JOIN THE EU.

RECENT CHANGES IN OPEN SCHOOL POLICY HAVE SEEN GREAT NUMBER OF STATE SCHOOLS TURNED INTO ISLAMIC IMAM SCHOOLS. WITH MANY PUPILS WHO CAN’T AFFORD TO PAY FOR THEIR SCHOOLING BEING FORCED TO ACCEPT RELIGIOUS EDUCATION INSTEAD. WHEN THE CURRENT RULING PARTY FIRST CAME INTO POWER THE NUMBER OF PUPILS WHO STUDIED AT IMAM SCHOOLS WAS 63,000, TODAY THAT NUMBER IS CLOSER TO 1,000,000.

9% of children in Turkey are taught in faith schools, correct.

DING

But in the UK 29% of all primary school children and 18% of all secondary are taught in faith schools. Or, as it seems from this video, not taught anything at all.

JUSY DAYS AFTER FILMING OUTSIDE THE IASOPHIA.

You said you didn’t go to Turkey! Make your mind up! How do you not even know where you are?

A SUICIDE ATTACK DETONATED A BOMB IN THE SAME LOCATION. KILLING TEN TOURISTS. THE ASSAILANT HAS IDENTIFIED AS AN ISLAMIC STATE OFFILIATE WHO HAD COME INTO THE COUNTRY FROM SYRIA. DAVID CAMERON HAS BEEN PUSHING HARD FOR TURKEY TO BECOME THE 29^TH MEMBER STATE. WE THE BRITISH PEOPLE ARE NOT GOING TO HAVE A SAY THAT.

Particularly as it won’t happen. I hate not having a say on fictional possibilities don’t you? Actually, I joke, but Prometheus, Indiana Jones 4 and the Star Wars prequels did make me think that maybe sometimes we should.

THIS IS JUST ONE OF THE MAJOR RISKS COMING DOWN THE PACKS FROM THE EU. WHEN THE REFERENDUM COMES, VOTE TO LEAVE.

So you want us to not be in the EU, just like Turkey? Oh right. Nice twist M.Night Shamalan. Though in many ways the only film of his that really relates to UKIP is The Village.

So all in all that’s 12 BUZZERS and just one little DING. I’m not surprised UKIP have already started their EU campaign with made-up facts and light xenophobia, I mean, do what you’re good at right? I just think they could have at least made the fiction a bit more fantastical. Like this:

TURKEY MUSIC

Did you know in Turkey they kill 7000 unicorns each year and use their tears to clean urinals with? If they join the EU which they might using ancient goblin magic to control the brains of everyone in Brussells then we heard 67 nanillion of them will come over hear and eat your shoes while you sleep. In Turkey only twelvety three people have shoes because it’s so dangerous. That’s why I’m still in bed. Vote UKIP, save unicorns.

MUSLIM WOMEN’S NETWORK COMPLAIN TO LABOUR

Jeremy Corbyn, the Labour leader who somehow manages to be unpopularly popular and popularly unpopular all at once, is expected to look into complaints by the Muslim Women’s Network UK that female Muslim councillors are being blocked from elections by male Muslim councillors. This seems to be mainly because due to archaic religious views these men assume that women shouldn’t be empowered in any way, proving they’ve clearly not watched Borgen before. Labour have naturally rejected these claims because otherwise it’d look like they support some serious sexist discrimination and after Corbyn’s cabinet having a higher ratio of female to male MPs, something like this would seem like a step backwards in the direction of the 1700’s.

The party’s official response on Friday was ‘ our election selection procedures include strong positive action procedures such as all-women shortlists and rules to ensure women are selected in winnable council seats”. Which not only says ‘procedures’ twice in the same sentence which just doesn’t sound nice, but it is also the wordy equivalent of popping your fingers in your ears and singing ‘Blurred Lines’ very loudly till all those complaining women go away.

One of the women who was hoping to run for council said that they were told by a male Labour member that ‘Islam and feminism aren’t compatible’. Which is an odd statement considering that even Saudi Arabia this year let women vote and run for municipal elections. Considering that’s a country that still inflicts the death penalty on anyone accused of sorcery and witchcraft UK Muslim men really shouldn’t be lagging behind them on women’s rights. So when they say ‘Islam and feminism aren’t compatible’ what these men probably mean is ‘We could get the software to make them compatible but we don’t want it taking up memory on our increasingly out of date machine.’

Shasti Gohir from the Muslim Women’s Network UK said that since this story broke on BBC’s Newsnight, she had been contacted by Sikh and Hindu women who experienced the same problems. So something needs to be done asap, though sadly it probably won’t be in time for local elections in May which could be an issue. Corbyn has mentioned several times that he wants Labour party members a democratic revolution. I assume he didn’t mean that he’d be letting some of the party turn equal rights 180 degrees.

THE END

That’s the end of this week’s Partly Political Broadcast. Sorry it was a short and probably slightly tired episode. That is because I am short and slightly tired. Eating waffles is hard work. It should be back to normal standards next week and I’m pretty sure I’ve got an excellent interview lined up too. Again, if you enjoy this show please do tell other people, animals, unknown sentient beings or intelligent AI systems as it’d be great to get even more regular listeners to make recording this worthwhile. My aim is to gain enough listeners that I can eventually make a living selling Partly Political inscribed fancy dress George Osborne builder outfits. Subscribe on the iTunes if you do that, and if you do do that, please give us a nice written review and five star rating too. You can follow the podcast on Twitter @parpolbro, or facebook at facebook.com/parpolbro although I never really update that because it’s facebook.

Also, also also I’m performing my recent solo show ‘The World’s Full Of Idiots, Let’s Live In Space’ in Canterbury at the Gulbenkian Theatre on Feb 9^th, which by the time this comes out is probably imminent or you’ll have missed it, but I like that sort of danger. I’m also doing the show at The Art House Café in Southampton on Feb 12^th and the Purbeck Literary Festival on Feb 27^th. If you’re London based come and see me share a bill with Holly Walsh on Feb 20^th at the Phoenix Fringe. It’ll all be new stuff but at least you can say you saw me do it before I scrapped it all and started again. Check my website www.tiernandouieb.co.uk for all of those links. Go on. Treat yourself.

Today’s episode has been brought to you by the letters E and U and the number twelvty three.

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