Episode 72 – Venezuela and Grabby Power Hands

Released on Tuesday, September 12th, 2017.

Episode 72 – Venezuela and Grabby Power Hands

Episode 72 – Power grabbing, Brucking Fexit, arguing Kiwis, depressed souffles and a chat with Dr Lisa Blackmore (@lisa_blackmore) about what is happening in Venezuela which involves Tiernan pronouncing Maduro about 12 different ways.

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THIS EPISODE IS TAGGED WITH: • parpolbro, Partly Political Broadcast, Patreon, podcast, political, politics, satire, Theresa May, Tiernan Douieb, Venezuela

Transcript

Episode 72

Hello and welcome to the Partly Political Broadcast episode 72! I’m Tiernan Douieb and while you might not think it, I’m actually all for the government making a blatant power grab, as long as the power they’re grabbing is some loose electrical wiring and they don’t have rubber gloves.

Yes the Commons have voted to keep progressing the EU Withdrawal Bill formerly the Repeal Bill formerly the Great Repeal Bill, because nothing assures you about the quality and benefits of a bill like the politicians who introduced it not even being confident enough with its name. The EU withdrawal bill will now allow the government to convert EU laws into UK laws but with many of them not going through parliament’s approval if the government decide it’s not worth it. This means they can essentially do what they like. Hence it’s nickname being the Henry the 8th Bill as whoever’s in charge is likely to send more democratic rules to death than any other leader. During the debate in the commons mutated Toby Jug Sir Edward Leigh told the commons ‘Henry 8th was a bastard, but he was my kind of bastard’ which among many other things should really make his wife call the police now. The EU withdrawal bill has really little to actually do with Brexit and far more to do with giving the government a ludicrous amount of wide power. That’s also why it’s referred to as the Henry 8th bill as wide power was his nickname. The government warned that MPs should back the bill or face chaos, but to be fair facing chaos seems a lot less scary than falling arse over tit at chaos like the government currently are at EU negotiations. But they voted to keep it going so who knows, it’ll probably be pretty much the same as before only now MPs don’t even have to bother pretending to want democracy.

This comes just days after the government’s plans to deter immigrants from the UK which oddly didn’t include any of some truly effective methods such as constantly broadcasting pictures worldwide of how shitty our summertime is, footage of our Prime Minister and product of a dystopian jelly mould Theresa May talking about anything ever or threatening to have Eamon Holmes greet people as they arrive at the airport. Instead there were some very hardline, worrying policies such as allowing low skilled EU workers residency for only two years. Presumably because that’s long enough for the general feeling of misery and discontent to rub off and they can return home to tell everyone else how shit things are and how xenophobic and inhospitable everyone is, let alone how crappy and useless the pound is, deterring any of their friends from wanting to come over either. Tough new controls would also stop many EU workers from coming over with their families which could, in some circumstances actually encourage more people to come here if it means they might finally get a fucking sleep in or not have to help their parents with how to send a text anymore.

In other Brexit related news, depressed soufflé David Davis told the commons that nobody pretended Brexit would be simple or easy, just weeks after Disgraced disgrace Liam Fox the disgrace said it would indeed be easy. As did former UKIP leader Paul Nuttal, and Tory MP John Redwood and indeed David Davis himself said it would be easy. Though to be fair, he did say ‘nobody pretended Brexit would be easy’ and I struggle to think of a more apt description for any of the names I’ve just mentioned.

In other UK news, the government has conceded that actual champion of parliamentary sovereignty Gina Miller was right and that parliament will need to approve the release of £1bn of funding to the DUP. I guess depending on if the are allowed to vote in that decision it’ll really prove the worth of the £1bn in the first place. Obviously if they can take part in the vote it will make the whole thing feel like insisting on having a fist fight to see if the martial arts experts on your side should be hired in the first place. Not that the DUP are like martial arts experts of course, as that’d require being fans of inner peace. On Friday Theresa May made a guest appearance on test match special. Something she clearly can’t be an expert or very good at as she’s regularly stumped. On the show she told presenter Jonathan Agnew that she wasn’t in the least bit robotic, though having watched Westworld that is pretty much what host robots would be programed to say to avoid gaining self awareness. Considering May then went on to commend former England cricket captain Geoffrey Boycott for just sticking in there and getting on with the job, proves my point entirely. Meanwhile Labour leader and former puppeteer of Sooty Jeremy Corbyn attended the Lush Creative Showcase event for the ethical bath products company and he made his own bath bomb which surprisingly didn’t prompt any right wing papers to accuse him of being associated with hot tub terrorism. He said he wished he had a bath tub to use it in, making many wonder if he just enjoys ideas that seem appealing on the surface but if actually used, would dissolve under any pressure at all.

In the rest of the world if the weather was any more uncertain and all over the place, it’d be hired as part of the UK Brexit negotiating team. Hurricane Irma has wrecked havoc across the Caribbean and now Miami, though it has been scaled down from a category 4 to a category 1, because like everyone else in the US, it’s only going to Florida to retire. US President and lovechild of pile up and a cheese puff Donald Trump has approved a declaration for a major disaster, that’s for the Hurricane, not his presidency unfortunately. And he referred to Irma as a ‘big monster’. Considering recent events have mostly affected poorer areas, we can expect him to hire it as his new Chief Strategist soon. People in Florida have been warned not to fire their guns at the hurricane, because we all know it’ll have no effect when the only thing that stops a bad hurricane is a good hurricane. Meanwhile Trump has order an end to the DACA or Deferred Action For Childhood Arrivals program meaning 800,000 young adults could be deported from the US. While that is a horrific and upsetting decision, on the plus side in the current climate it could mean they get their evacuation paid for while the rest of America is killed by a swirling big monster maelstrom of stupid Floridian bullets.

Hello you. And you as well. No not you. Thanks as always for lending me your lug holes. This week’s show should be a slightly shorter on than last week, as I realised it was a bit lengthy indeed but I also couldn’t leave any of the interview with Ann Pettifor out as I thought it was all worth listening to. Speaking of which thank you to everyone who tweeted and emailed to say how much they enjoyed that chat, and as this is a democratic podcast, also to Andrew who emailed with a lengthy and indepth critique of why he said Ann was 80% right but 20% wrong as she, among other things exaggerated risk and suggests solution to much of what she said is greater international governmental co-operation. Anyway, there’s a lot to it and I’m not going to read it all out now but what I will do is copy and paste it to the Facebook and Twitter and then you can have a read for yourself as there are so many varying views on economics it is always very worth reading up on as much of it as you can. Andrew recommends reading economists Riccardo Rebonato and Kate Raworth. I’ll pop some links to their stuff online too. So thanks to Andrew for that, and apologies for not reading his full reply. If you do have criticisms or thoughts on anything I or the guests say, I’m always keen to hear other views unless they are proper shitty racist ones or the idea that red trousers are acceptable, then you can of course email me at partlypoliticalbroadcast@gmail.com, the @parpolbro Twitter or the partly political broadcast facebook group. Speaking of which I am working on a ParPolBro specific website which will then have show notes for everything – thanks again to Kat Day for doing the linear notes for last weeks show, and questioning whether they are linear or liner as it’s a recording and now I really don’t know – and I’ll also attach feedback and things to each episode as well. But you know how websites work, it’ll probably be up and running by some point in 2019.

Also I have now popped my EdFringe show up on the Patreon for subscribers only and I then did it again after realising I posted it in a stupid way that meant you could only listen to it on the site. Bah. Anyway if you want to contribute financially towards this show and join up at patreon.com/parpolbro you will get the reward of an hour of my stand-up. Yes, another hour of me. Anymore and you’ll start to sympathise with what my wife has to deal with. Or if you want to just give a one-off donation you can buy me a coffee or the monetary equivalent of a coffee from a reasonable establishment and not the one near me that is a total rip off, and head to ko-fi.com/parpolbro. And more than any of that, if you enjoy tuning into this weekly please please do review the show on iTunes, stitcher, pocket casts or whatever you use and please do spread the word, perhaps tweet or facebook about the show or harass your favourite paper or zine to write about it. It’d be real nice to boost the listenership of this show even more. I mean, professionally I’m meant to tell you you’re the only listener so you feel special, but I’m also honest so face the facts and deal with it, you three are the only listeners. Alright?

Couple of other bits this week. Firstly thanks tons to beesesteeses for doing some Rees-Mogg pics for a vid for the PPB jingle I did about Mogg a few eps back. I’ve popped that on the youtube and other places if you wish to share it. Also if you remember before the summer on episode 70 I interviewed Jason Reed at UK Leap, Law Enforcement Against Prohibition? Well on Sept the 19th I am on a panel for his podcast Stop and Search which will be recording at the Crowdshed near Tottenham Court Road. It’ll be me, journalist Felicity Morse and writer for Jonathan Pie, Andrew Doyle. Tickets are free and you can grab them if you search on Eventbrite for Breaking The News! Or the Stop and Search podcast.

Lastly if you didn’t read Ta-Nehisi Coates article last week on theatlantic.com then stop this and go do that. It’s called ‘Donald Trump Is The First White President’ and is a beautifully written powerful account of endemically racist America. Ta-Nehisi Coates’s book ‘Between the world and me’ is a stupidly important read too and his new one ‘We Were Eight Years In Power’ is out in October. You’re welcome.

On this week’s show there is a bit of a Partly Global Broadcast on a few worldly issues, including an interview with director of Latin American studies at Essex University Lisa Blackmore on what on earth is happening in Venezuela, plus of course, the opposite of being worldly, more brexing fuckit. Sorry, fucking brexit.

But first up, have this:

HEADLINES

– Labour MP David Lammy released his independent review for the Ministry of Justice this week, finding that there is racial bias in the criminal justice system. Do you need a minute to get over your shock and surprise? I mean, who knew? What next? Finding discrimination ethnic minority groups in the fashion, entertainment, financial, public, computing and probably even zoological sectors? I mean what are the chances? The review is a good thing, if long overdue and it’s findings have shown that despite black people being only 3% of the UK population, they account for 12% of people in prison which more disproportionate than the US, a country that basically uses it’s prison system to make up for slavery being criminalised. Similarly Muslims account for 5% of the UK population but 15% of prisoners, which has risen by 50% in a very short time. BAME male prisoners are far more likely to be kept in high security prisons than white offenders. And of course a large amount of employers won’t hire people with a criminal record, although you can stand as an MP if you have one, even though you can’t run for a job as councillor, because you know, some areas have to have standards.
– Lammy points blame at the criminal justice system for ignoring elements such as difficult backgrounds or if they come from deprived areas, whereas in comparison for white offenders they do a full on X-Factor style story where they ask if you offended for your dead grandmother as it’s what she would’ve wanted to some moving string music. There is also a huge lack of BAME judges and prison officers and David Lammy says this needs to change by 2025 for more equal representation. We’ll have to see if the government pays attention as parliament has only 51 BAME MPs which is only about 7.8% while BAME people are 14% of the UK population, so representation there will need to increase by 2025 too for any of this to really change.

– Facebook Russian accounts – Apparently using Facebook causes depression on account of us constantly seeing how everyone else is having a better life than you are. Well it’s been discovered that more than $150,000 worth of Facebook ads leading up to the US Presidential election last year were placed by inauthentic accounts likely from Russia. Yes, that means there are some Russian hackers who are having several better lives than you. How does that make you feel? Facebook said the messages didn’t mention election candidates themselves but instead sent amplifying and divisive social and political messages across the ideological spectrum. I mean, no wonder it blended right into the rest of the sites content. This is the first time Facebook have acknowledged that many of the accounts they have to shut down came from Russian sources, and this adds to a wider picture of Russian interference in the US election including the NSA stating this month that evidence suggests they hacked election systems in 39 states. Though none of the evidence shows they influenced the outcome. It’s unclear whether the facebook posts had any large effect either but Facebook said they are doing more to delete false accounts and tackle fake news on their site. I’m not sure what that means but they’ll probably just add the hand on chin concerned face emoji that you can use to comment underneath.

– The UK Government have said they will lift the 1% public sector pay cap but only for police and prison officers, because they don’t have private versions of those things to keep them safe yet, so best keep them on side. The increases in pay should be announced this week with the treasury suggesting that they will give guidance on lifting the cap for other public sector workers next year if they haven’t already died of starvation. The problem is that the Police Force are already warning that they have budgeted for an only 1% pay increase and any increase over that will mean they’ll have to lose jobs. Yes, it’s like the Sophie’s Choice of employment. More pay but less people keep their jobs or everyone keeps their jobs but less pay. The IFS have said that lifting the cap will cost £6-7bn more than previous. Yeah, it’s almost as though paying people costs money. How weird? Meanwhile in Scotland SNP leader and first minister Nicola Sturgeon has said they will lift the pay cap for all public sector workers but it will be in line with inflation and budgets. So on the whole better than before but probably not enough. It all feels a bit like giving a child back a toy you confiscated off them years ago only now it doesn’t quite work right, one of it’s eyes is missing and it now makes a noise that sounds like someone screaming.

HOW TO GET BEHIND BREXIT –

Are you concerned that you don’t know just how to do your good British duty and back Brexit? More importantly, if it is going reverse, is it safe to back it when you may well get run over as a result? Well never fear because right now we need you to forget all logic, reason and concern for your own well being so you can help the government cut off it’s nose to bleed to death violently and then look awful in an open casket. So here are some tips to get you fully behind Brexit:
– Step one: Do not use any words that aren’t strictly British. Which is around 80,000 words you should not say ever again. No more rendezvous, deja-vous, no phobias, ologies or most medical terminology. Instead to represent Britain to it’s fullest we must use the remaining words we have to just point and shout more and more loudly at things we want, such as our sovereignty. Which is from Latin and French. So we can’t say that any more either. Fuck. Which you also can’t say as that’s German. Oh well. Shit that’s Germanic too. Bugger. Hmm and that’s Dutch….

That should help you, eschew the possibilities of being a traitor and back Brexit like a true Brit. What do you mean I can’t say that either as Brit is from Latin?

INTERVIEW – VENEZUELA – Lisa Blackmore Part 1

If you were to see the list of places in the world I know nothing about, it would be mostly blank because, well, I don’t know anything about them. Case in point is Venezuela. I don’t even know any stereotypes about Venezeula to make terrible jokes about in the introduction for this bit. I mean, I once had Arepas, and that was nice. But right now it’s very important to know about Venezuela as the country is in serious turmoil. A crash in oil prices has left many Venezuelans in extreme poverty and famine, the country is divided between supporters of President Maduro’s regime and those who are against and the UN has just announced that the Nicolas Maduro has committed crimes against humanity, and instructed that a criminal investigation take place. There have been many riots, protest related deaths and the incarceration of many trying to speak out about it. It’s in a social, political and economical crisis. That is quite the change for a country voted Happiest In The World in 2008. Though it does give the UK some hope as a country that’s currently 19th happiest, so at least we can’t fall too far.

But it’s a country we only hear about in the UK when something isn’t going right, or when Ken Livingstone says something tactless, which to be fair, is becoming more and more regular. So this week I thought I should speak to someone who can explain exactly why Venezuela is in this situation, and what needs to and may happen next. I spoke to Dr Lisa Blackmore who is the Director of Latin American Studies at the University of Essex. Lisa researches the aesthetics and politics of modernity in Latin America. Her first book published this year is called Spectacular Modernity: Dictatorship, Space and Visuality In Venezuela, 1948-1958 and she is currently co-editing two volumes on culture and politics in Venezuela as well. So I thought she’d be a pretty good person to help you and me become a bit more knowledgeable on the subject. And while I knew nothing about Venezeula it turns out I did know the right person to ask to help me change that. So I hope this is useful to you too.

Here’s Lisa:

INTERVIEW PART 1

Back to Lisa in a minute but first:

GLOBAL BROADCAST

There’s a lotta stuff happening all over the globe right now and I thought it’d be useful this week to mention a couple so you, the listener, can impress others with your knowledge in your local pub, gravedigging society meeting or perhaps tree insulting collectives. And they’ll all be like, woah, and we thought the UK was the worst but it turns out others are worsers and you can say with a smug grin, but we’re still pretty bad at worsest, and everyone will laugh then go back to calling a Silverbirch a bastard. So first up:

There is some properly horrible shit going on in MYANMAR, formerly Burma, at the moment if you haven’t already heard. Found just between Bangladesh and Thailand, Myanmar has previously been known for a big fuck off Buddist temple and for being a very diverse country with people of over 100 ethnicities residing there. But since last month, the latter bit of their reputation has rapidly changed with more than 310,000 Rohingya Muslims having fled to Bangladesh as they are being targeted by the military, in what the UN is calling a textbook example of ethnic cleansing. And I thought the textbooks at my school were bleak.

This all kicked off on August 25th when Rohingya militants attacked police posts in northern Rakhine killing 12 security officials. But the Myanmar military have responded to this buy burning Rohingya villages and attacking any Rohingya muslims they come across. Feels a bit much for a retaliation. Like if kid smashed your window with a football on purpose, and you responded by murdering everyone who’s ever played football. The government say Rohingya militants are causing the fires but there is much evidence to suggest actually it is the government who are essentially ethnic cleansing the area. The Rohingya are stateless people, which doesn’t mean they can be solid, liquid and gas, which is my superpower after several drinks and a curry. But if you remember my chat with Tendayi Bloom in episode 57 where she explained that these aren’t necessarily people without a home, but people who aren’t recognised as having a nationality by the countries they live in, which can make life extremely tough. About 1.5m Rohingya have no home at all, while around 1.3m were living in Myanmar, but Myanmar keep denying them the possibility of acquiring a nationality which means they are restricted from having state education, freedom of movement or civil service jobs and have regularly been persecuted by the government in a way that the UN has suspected for a while means they want to eject them from the country.

The leader of Myanmar Aung San Suu Kyi has not spoken out against the situation at all, and many are calling for the Nobel Institute to withdraw her peace prize that she won in 1991 for non-violent struggle for human rights because I mean, really, this is exact opposite of peace. If anything they should remove her peace prize then award her with a ‘Nobel Prize for being a shit shit human’ just to send home the point. The Dalia Lama condemned the violence and said that Buddha would have helped the Rohingya, but many buddists nationalists have been part of a very Islamaphobic campaign to get rid of them. Again, I sort of feel like they’re letting Buddhism down with that stance. I always wondered if the vow of silence was just to stop some of them from saying horrible racist views. So a horrible scene at the moment and as a result Bangladesh has been inundated with refugees seeking shelter. The UN has called on the Myanmar government to end its military operation so hopefully some sort of intervention will happen soon.

Next up is lighter bit of news in New Zealand where they are having a very closely run election that could remove power from the Conservatives for the first time in 9 years. Jacinda Arden, the leader of the NZ Labour Party and who is likely to be the country’s next Prime Minister has said that she would seek to have a debate about whether or not Queen Lizzie 2 should still be it’s head of state. This is partly because Jacinda is a Republican and she wants to, as she said carve out NZ’s own future. But I’m sure it’s also partly because there’s every chance that if Arden becomes PM she might have to deal with bloody Prince Charles in a year or two and also cos hey sometimes it’s nice to have another face on your money. It is bizarre that a British Monarch has been head of state there since 1841 despite it being just under 12000 miles away. If that isn’t neglectful monarching, I don’t know what is. Last year a poll showed that 60% of kiwis want to become a republic but it’s causing some issue with the royalists and Jacinda Arden was careful to say in her statement that its not something people are crying out for right now. Considering that she hasn’t visited since 1995 and the likelihood Lizzie will be visiting anytime soon, how about just becoming a republic but telling the Queen she’s still head anyway and occasionally take a pic of an old flag?

HOW TO GET BEHIND BREXIT – Part 2:
Are you concerned that you don’t know how to back Brexit, or worse don’t really feel like it like the liberal snowflake you are? Well don’t fear as this is a public service announcement from the Department For Exiting The European Union or DExEU for short like a terrible sum. I did want to call it DFETEU but they said it has defeat in it which might be too realistic and negative and make us all traitors to the Empire. But you don’t have to worry about that as here is the next step to enable you, the British citizen, to fully back Brexit:

Step Two: Only eat British fruit and vegetables that we can obtain here all year round to stop us being dependant on any of that European produce. That means we can enjoy carrots, potatoes and occasionally apples from January through to December, and revel in a variety of meals of carrots and potatoes, potatoes and carrots, apples and carrots, apple and potato and potato, apples and carrots. Don’t you dare bloody make French Fries with them. None of that. What do you mean who will pick the potatoes, carrots and apples? Bloody blasted traitor.

Don’t you be a Remoaner! Get on board the Brexit bus as it hangs off a cliff like the end of the Italian Job and back Britain!

And now, back to Lisa:

INTERVIEW PART 2

Thank you to Lisa for letting me interview her. She is on twitter @lisa_blackmore and her book Spectacular Modernity is available at all good, great, and a handful of dubious bookshops. One of the books she’s co-editing on Venezeula is available for pre-order too at www.urpub.org and is called Downward Spiral: El Helicoide’s Descent from Mall To Prison and focuses on a building that was hailed as a beacon of Latin American modernist architecture in the 1950’s and looks at how it changed over time as well as the country around it. There is also a documentary film that Lisa was involved in called, and apolgies for my terrible pronounciation, Despues De Trujillo, or After Trujillo about the Dominican Republic after the dictatorship of Trujillo. It’s in Spanish but it has English subtitles and you can find that at www.phil.uzh.ch/elearning/blog/despues-de-trujillo or, which is much easier, find their facebook page and click on the link there. I’ll also post it on the Partly Political twitter and Facebook pages. Also, very importantly, Healing Venezuela which she mentions at the end, can be found at healingvenezuela.co.uk so do check them out too.

Next week I should have previous guest David Powell from New Economics Foundation on hurricanes, global warming and the inequality aspect of natural disasters. I’ve got a few other good guests lined up which I’m excited for you to hear, but, as I always always say, if you have any area you’d like me to interview someone about or someone specific you’d like me to talk to, please drop me a line @parpolbro on twitter, the Partly Political Broadcast group on Facebook or partlypoliticalbroadcast@gmail.com. Or create 5000 Russian bots to spam social media with adverts that have your suggestion on accompanied with a meme that doesn’t really make sense, is obviously factually incorrect and for some reason has nudity in it and then I might see it if I don’t immediately report you. I mean, really, it’s just easier to email.

BREXIT FALLOUT

Yet again the past week’s lack of progress on Brexit has just made me even more certain that if this isn’t all a terrible prank show with the highest budget a prank show has ever had and all of the UK and EU being the victims, then the only other possibility is that we are definitely the parody parallel universe that another universe somewhere is using as the basis for a dystopian comedy show. Because if neither of those are true then we’ll have to live with the realisation that not a single person in charge has a fucking clue what they are doing and that is the scariest timeline. Only a couple of days ago Foreign Secretary and Lint Frankenstein Boris Johnson ignited hostilities with the EU again by saying they have a legal duty to discuss future trade talks now, completely ignoring that the UK has a legal duty to sort out the Brexit Bill payments before that happens or that the European Parliament has the power to veto absolutely any agreement between the EU and the UK meaning what you probably don’t want to do is get your biggest idiot to rile them up constantly till they just tell you to fuck off.

The leaked immigration restriction proposals were quite grim news for any EU nationals with plans to give low skilled workers only a two year residency but those in high skilled occupations 3-5 year ones. Which is all sorts of batshit for several reasons. One is that there is still little and inconclusive evidence that immigration affects employment or pay for native workers. A bank of England report from last year suggested that an increase in the ratio of foreign born workers to UK born workers in lower paid jobs caused a small effect, predicting that a 1.88% reduction in pay for semi-skilled and unskilled service workers such as childminding, bar staff, call centre staff etc would follow a 10% rise in immigration. But they also said this was due to wage decreases for UK workers as a whole and that the lower pay foreign born workers was often taking also lowered the average wage somewhat. Overall if you’re in a lower paid job, at most a rise in immigration would cause a loss of 1-2p per hour, per year which does of course add up but not as much as people assume. If you’re a comedian doing a podcast like me then it really doesn’t matter who comes to the UK as you’ll still be broke either way. The other issue with the idea of giving longer residency allowances to high skilled workers is that if you’re an idiot who’s miffed at the idea of foreigners taking all the jobs, why are you stopping them from doing the ones no one here wants to do and yet encouraging them to take all the better paid ones people do want? Honestly, these politicians have less real convictions than Judge Judy.

Other proposals will require all EU nationals to show a passport on entry to the UK meaning airports will be even more shitty than they are now, it proposes ending free movement from day one of leaving the EU, ending the rights for most EU citizens to settle in Britain and new restrictions on their rights to bring in family members. Essentially we couldn’t be any less welcoming as a country unless we wrote ‘go fuck yourself’ on the white cliffs of Dover and handed out the Daily Mail in our airports….sorry what? We do that one already? Oh dear god. Former Prime Minister and perfect target for shoe throwing Tony Blair has waded into the issue like Kayne West at an awards show, saying that we should just tighten existing free movement rules requiring EU citizens to only get entrance if they have a job offer which goes against EU law entirely and so wouldn’t be allowed. I’d almost be up for EU citizens only being allowed in the UK if they respond to a picture of Tony Blair by telling it to fuck off.

Apart from the EU withdrawal bill getting voted through, none of this is looking good for the government at all. And even then the EU withdrawal bill still has to go through committee stage and the Lords so there’s every chance the power grab could still end up, for the government, like a fairground crane that only ever promises a glimpse of reward but ultimately just wastes your time and money. Greece’s former finance minister and the Fonz if he’d been very ill Yannis Varafoukis, has warned that May is sleepwalking into a disaster. If that is true, at least she’ll be able to use the excuse that she was asleep this whole time rather than wide awake and still woefully incompetent. Global financial service Morgan Stanley have also warned that May’s government is going to collapse by next year as a result of this. All of this could be why it looks like May is going address the EU with a speech about a no cliff edge transition deal with any interim agreements being as close as possible to current relations. She’s basically asking if we can have another few weeks grace please as it turns out no one knew what the fuck they were doing when they triggered article 50. But it also looks like May plans to tell the Conservative conference about a more hard line stance resulting in a clean Brexit. The problem with that is, if I can read that on the internet, so can the EU. Maybe that’s it? She just hasn’t realised they also have computers across the channel? It would explain a lot. But still not as much as if she was actually sleepwalking.

HOW TO GET BEHIND BREXIT – Part 3

Are you worried that you like the pound having value somewhere other than your average supermarket trolley? Are you concerned that you’re putting the will of the people behind your worries about an economic crisis or lack of nurses? Well you needn’t project fear as we here at DExEU say BExEU with us as we provide many tips to keep stoking the delusions in your imagination like someone’s pulled British wool over your eyes and you can’t remove it, no matter how scratchy it feels.

STEP 3: Do not leave the British Isles for holiday or work, support your country with a staycation. There is nothing more British than holding your loved one and children tightly as you sit in a swaying caravan while the rain hits the roof praying that the very British weather will let up long enough for you to buy some potatoes and carrots to eat. It is vital you do not leave the country, firstly because how can borders remain truly closed unless we seal ourselves in and secondly because it will be much harder from 2019 so you may as well get used to it now.

Get Behind Brexit Britain As We’re All In Shit Together!

End

And that is all for this week’s show. Thank you again for listening and please do leave the show a review or at least recommend it to someone else you know, or even don’t know. But if you do that, don’t do it in a creepy way like with cut out lettering stuck to roadkill, as I don’t think it’ll persuade them to tune in. Also join the Patreon if you can and if you’d like a download of my EdFringe show, that’s at patreon.com/parpolbro or give me a one-off donation at ko-fi.com/parpolbro. All of it really, really helps. Don’t forget you can contact me @parpolbro on Twitter, the partly political broadcast group on FB or email me at partlypoliticalbroadcast@gmail.com and drop me a line about well pretty much anything. Podcast stuff is preferable but I’m also always happy to discuss favourite types of cheese or the benefits of adding punctuation to your babies names so you have to call them Steve with a question mark. Steve? See? It’s great.

Big thanks again to Acast for hosting the show and to my brother The Last Skeptik for all the musics and his new album This Is Where It Gets Good will be out in a few weeks but you can pre-order it from music places now. Like iTunes I mean, not my mouth when I sing in the shower.

I’ll be back next week when I’ll be asking questions such as how can Theresa May’s government really do a power grab when she didn’t get the stronger hand she needed at the snap election, and you’ll be asking, can you pronounce Maduro right yet? Maduro? Mahuro? No? No.

This week’s show was brought to you by the number 8 for both King Henry and the amount of weed his name now represents that is nowhere near enough to relax you past caring about news on Brexit.