Episode 145 – Bye Bye Constant Walking Advert For Shark Week – Theresa May’s resignation, EU Elections, Brexit Party, Lib Dems, Tory Leadership, Katy Styles from We Care

Released on Tuesday, May 28th, 2019.

Episode 145 – Bye Bye Constant Walking Advert For Shark Week – Theresa May’s resignation, EU Elections, Brexit Party, Lib Dems, Tory Leadership, Katy Styles from We Care

Episode 145 – Theresa May is finally going like the last uninvited guest at a party you wished had finished hours ago and look at all the mess she’s left. Also EU Elections and how all the people you hate did badly but also did well. Tiernan (@tiernandouieb) speaks to Katy Style (@WillowKaty) about We Care (@WeAreCarers), campaigning for rights and pay for carers.

We Care: http://wecarecampaign.tilda.ws/

HOW DOES THIS POLITICS THING WORK THEN?

At Underbelly Festival at Southbank on May 30th and 31st

USUAL PODCAST WORD NOISE

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THIS EPISODE IS TAGGED WITH: • Nigel Farage, No Deal, parpolbro, Partly Political Broadcast, Patreon, podcast, political, politics, Richard Tice, Sajid Javid, satire, The Brexit Party, Theresa May, Tiernan Douieb, Tories, UKIP, We Care

Transcript

Episode 145

Hello and welcome to the Partly Political Broadcast, the political comedy podcast that combats confirmation bias by just insisting that absolutely everything is shit. This is episode 145, I’m Tiernan Douieb and this week as The Brexit Party dominate the UK’s European Election, I want to know if being elected to a system that you believe is unelected cancels out the election or not? It’s the new philosophical question of our times. If a tree falls in the forest but it swears it wasn’t part of that forest in the first place as its actually just elitist branches and their agenda, will too many people hear it thanks to disproportionate coverage and far too many appearances on Question Time?

Yes it’s out with the old, in with the various shades of blue, that are also, mostly old, as last week saw Prime Minister and corrugated iron effigy to the god of inanimate objects Theresa May announce that she would be resigning as Conservative leader on June 7^th but will still be Prime Minister until someone can physically remove her using Loctite and a crowbar as she no doubt tries to barricade herself in and take Larry the cat as hostage. This long overdue announcement was somewhat subdued by it being the 15^th time everyone thought she was going to resign, with several previous speeches where May letting everyone down by being the political version of someone who rocks up at the end of the wedding speeches and demands to talk despite not being invited by anyone, not having nothing to say and stopping guests from enjoying the dessert. By only finally resigning after so many other things she should’ve resigned over, it’s about as rewarding as a serial killer just dying at home of old age, or Cersei getting killed by some bricks she could’ve avoided by being just three steps to the right. In terms of a deal no one likes, it seems 4^th time is whatever spell it takes to break the charm, as May’s announcement that she’d be wheeling out her much hated deal yet again, like a horse that’s one flogging away from being a glue pile, caused a resignation in the shape of Leader of the House of Commons and mother Andrea Leadsom. She submitted her letter saying she couldn’t fulfill her duty to announce a bill with new elements she fundamentally opposed, saying that she didn’t want to undermine the union, you know, the union that’s undermine by the Brexit she wants. Leadsom signed the letter with ‘Best’ which sends a confusing message, all of which she did in a green pen, because as a mother she only has her children’s stationary available. Still at least Andrea can legitimately add that job to her CV now eh? Yes, I’m all about the callbacks from 2016.

But that was the final blow for May, as she spent the evening hiding in Number 10 away from journalists and MPs that wanted to meet with her. Yes, the PM’s days were numbered once she restricted her own freedom of movement. Standing at the podium outside Number 10, May said she had done her best to deliver Brexit, you know in the way Yodel do their best to deliver your package by not even bothering to ring your doorbell and then slamming the box into a skip on their way home. She quoted Sir Nicholas Winton, a man who saved nearly 700 Jewish children from the Nazis, bringing them to Britain. Something that May would’ve promised to do, but then only brought in three while the newspapers would say that they all looked like they were in their 40s so we should send them back again. May’s choice quote from a man whose daughter has already said the PM has not lived up to Sir Winton’s legacy, was that ‘compromise is not a dirty word, life depends on compromise’ which is an odd way of admitting that her unmovable red lines killed off her party and possibly the country. May then listed a whole ton of achievements that she hasn’t actually achieved, like bringing an end to austerity which seems to be taking as long to go as she did. She mentioned that her government are building more homes even though it’s still 250,000 short of what’s needed which sums up May’s career perfectly, promising to make everyone dinner, handing out some bowls of peanuts then saying she’s basically won come dine with me. She said they were tackling air quality, although after being taken to court several times for having woefully inadequate plans, I guess it could be that May meant ‘tackle air quality’ in the rugby way by knocking it to the floor till it’s so low you can eat the atmosphere with a spoon.

Grenfell got a mention too, with May saying that she set up the public enquiry so that the people who lost their lives that night are never forgotten, which is different to those who survived who May seemed to forgot mere days after the fire when she didn’t meet with any of them and even now, two years later, when many of them still need rehousing. She closed the speech by saying that this country is a union of people, whatever our background, colour of skin, or who we love, and she started welling up, presumably as she reminded herself of all the people she’d failed to deport because they weren’t white and how despite her voting efforts gay marriage is now legal. It was genuinely strange to see Theresa May cry, mainly on account of it being the first time its happened in public so no one was sure if it was just a malfunction or not. Everyone rushed to say how sorry they felt for her, from former Prime Minister and talking gallbladder David Cameron who said he felt desperately sorry for her, because the mere thought of taking responsibility is one of his worst nightmares. US President and blowtorched howler monkey Donald Trump said he felt badly for Theresa May, though that might be because he knows she still has to meet him before she leaves which is the worst going away present ever. Her party may as well have baked her a farewell shit and thrown a party everyone but her was invited too. Even Shadow Chancellor and Werthers Original advert John McDonnell said that you’d have to have a heart of stone not to feel sorry for May, which I’m guessing means she didn’t feel sorry for herself, or is she the exception to the rule?

How will May be remembered? Well probably in the way that you sometimes remember the game meaning that you’ve lost the game and now your whole day is ruined. Haha you’ve now lost the game. But probably also as the Prime Minister who successfully managed to unite a divided country by bringing everyone together to realise how shit she is and how much they wanted her to leave. Sadly, those 30 seconds of joy at May leaving were abruptly slammed down by the realistion that all possible replacements are the political version of Mos Eisley canteen residents. There’s sofa put together all wrong Boris Johnson who is the current favourite among members, because there’s no one the country needs more to build a bridge between divisions than a man who’d spend far too much money trying to put a garden on it and charge entry so that the whole thing collapses before it begins. Boris says unless the party delivers Brexit it will be fired from the country, yet again giving us more reasons not to have Brexit. I really hope it’s via a cannon which you’d easily get Boris into if you just said it was a photo op. Challenging Boris for the top spot of the absolute bottom of the earth is disposable spoon and Foreign Secretary Jeremy Hunt who we at least know will spare the country from awkward excuse filled speeches, but that’s only because when he inevitably cocks things up he’ll spend most of his time hiding behind a tree hoping everyone goes away. Then there’s Esther McVey, a cross between Amanda Holden and a bear trap, who’s previously said that benefit sanctions teach jobseekers to take work seriously, so it’s a wonder that she hasn’t repeatedly had her pay cut as a response to her being a massive shithouse in everything she does. In an interview with McVey on Sky News on Sunday, which sounded a lot like if you’d asked a stupid child what they’d do if they ruled the world for a day, Esther insisted there can be an invisible border in Ireland, saying that the technology exists. I’m pretty certain she thinks that only because she can’t see one there at the moment, so assumes it’s cloaked. Then there’s Health Secretary and face drawn on an apple Matt Hancock who will likely try to run the country from an app, which he’ll then forget to put security on and hackers will get hold of all the defence details in minutes, and Rory Stewart who always looks like he’s on a rollercoaster that is going a bit too fast. Stewart is most notable recently for failing to make prisons less than awful, so I’m not sure he’ll have any better convictions than anyone else. Ha, see what I did there? What do you mean it doesn’t quite make sense? Shhhh.

Oh and of course there’s Environment Secretary and Billy ham Michael Gove, who’s leadership material in the same way petrol-soaked wood is fire proof material. Nothing sends a greater message to world leaders that we can work with them, than a man who stabs his best pals in the back while his wife writes something awful about their legs . Home Secretary and Ernest Blohard Sajid Javid announced his policy with a new Twitter account cringingly called TeamSaj that he encouraged people to join. You can’t be a leader if the best name you come up with is the sort the creatively dead boss of an accounting firm would give a team on a works weekend away that no one wants to be on. There’s so many better alternatives. How about JavBand, Freestyle Jav, My Definition of a Boombastic Jav Thing, The Saj Sacks, The Javabeans, The Saji-Masochists, The Saj Saj Lonely Sort Of People That Come Up With Names Like Team Saj, or how about The Join Me And I’ll Only Run Away To Australia When Something Bad Happens Crew?

Rik Mayall’s worst character Dominic Raab is also running for leader on the premise that he can get a better Brexit deal than the one he already got and resigned over it because he didn’t like it, before then voting for it. I mean who better to protect this island than someone who doesn’t even know what an island is? And there’s more to announce too, each one proving that actually the only thing holding most of us back from being Prime Minister is being overqualified in many, many areas. With that bunch it doesn’t matter who we get in, we may as well all start jumping up and down at the same time in the hope that we can sink the country before anyone else notices what has happened. Yes Dominic, sink. Yes, there’s water over there. Yes. Really. There is no chance that any of them will get any better deal with the EU than May did, and the EU are saying as much, so it’ll more be a case of who’s stupid face we want to see trot out the same old shit again, but somehow worse? Saying that, I guess there is a chance the rest of the world will throw us some trade deals out of sheer pity.

By stepping down on Friday, May has sidestepped, or danced, having to speak out about just how much of a battering the Conservatives took in the EU elections and I can’t help but feel she probably watched her party sink to 5^th while cackling and putting bits of tuna behind the radiators to ruin things for the next No.10 resident. Yes, 5^th place for the governing party, while The Brexit Party with their leader dismembered knee skin Nigel Farage took first, on account of taking all the votes from UKIP, Nigel’s first party. It’s a lot like the election equivalent of a divorce where your ex takes all your stuff and next thing you know, their new partner is driving around in your car, and you’re drinking in the bar with a bunch of internet Nazis wondering where you went wrong. The Brexit Party got 31.6% share of the vote, even getting 746 votes in Gibraltar which makes no sense. That’s like voting to set your own house on fire and letting the insurance company know it was you that did it. Their victory means that screaming toadstool Anne Widdicombe is now an MEP for the South West though I have no idea on the legal implications of sending a carcass to Brussels or Strasborg. Inspiration for the Big Head toys Richard Tice won a seat in East Anglia because there’s no better way to stick it to the elite than by letting a multi-millionaire earn even more money from an institution he supposedly loathes. Brian Monteith, the candidate for the Brexit Party in the North East and egg, won his seat despite it being revealed that he lives in France. I mean, if you just don’t want to visit the UK, there are easier ways to do it. And of course, Nigel Farage retained his seat in the South East because nothing shows his retaliation against the EU like insisting on continuing to get a fat salary and pension payments from there. Days before the election Farage had had to hide on his campaign bus due to people outside lurking with milkshakes. Yes, the man who said his biggest regret was not being at the D-Day landings, admittedly, he never says on which side, yet there he was, still scared of dairy. I’m sad it didn’t amount to anything as it would have been poetry if his career had ended due to a bus.

Labour lost 11.3% of the vote, on account of neither being officially anti or pro-Brexit, but sort of both and neither all at once. Turns out sitting on the fence will give you splinters in your voter groups. Shadow Foreign Secretary and headteacher that all the parents like but all the kids think is a dick Emily Thornberry said as results were coming in that Labour should have openly supported a second referendum and campaign to remain in the EU. Labour leader and brillo pad Jeremy Corbyn said he would listen very carefully to calls for one, but then wanged on about his party bringing the country together even though they can barely get through a sentence to each other without someone kicking off.

The Lib Dems and Greens did very well coming in 2^nd and 4^th place respectively, and overall Anti-Brexit votes took 40.4% of the share, which is well over the 34.9% that Brexit supporting parties took. But none of that vote, or only 3.4% of it was for Change UK, the other new party in the elections, just the one no one gave a shit about. Leader and woman who always looks like she’s slightly concussed Heidi Allen shrugged off the immense losses saying instead that the this is the beginning of something. Is that something a career outside of politics Heidi?

Far right twat and several times dropped spam Tommy Robinson did so badly that he snuck out of the North West election count early. You could say he left in a flurry but that’d probably give him milkshake-based nightmares. UKIP leader and bargain Palpatine Gerard Batten also lost his seat, along with all the other UKIP seats, hopefully meaning they’ll now fuck off back to where they came from. Oh, and in the South East Alexandra Philips won a seat as both a Brexit party and a Green party MEP, except they were actually two people with the same name. Either that or Brexit has really divided her more than most.

The Conservatives had the worst result in an election since the mid-1800s and of course Theresa May, as her parting gift to the party, has said that the results show how important it is to find a deal to quit the EU. Which is what she’d have said absolutely regardless of result because she’s only got two weeks left so may as well get as much out of this script as she can until it’s just her and Philip sheltering in a cabin, halfway through a walk she can’t finish as she insists on dancing, screaming ‘it’s not about me’, ‘Brexit means Brexit’ and ‘strong and stable, strong and stable’ at him ad infinitum as he wipes the snot from her face as that’s one of his boy jobs. Ultimately though election turnout was only up a little bit from 2014 so largely, once again, this vote mainly showed that very few of the British people can give a shit about EU elections and I’m still certain all of Brexit could be avoided by telling people it’d happened, insisting on referring to French sticks as Bread Cocks and no one would ever check to see if you were telling the truth.

And lastly, the British steel industry has collapsed mainly down to terrible selfish choices by those in charge. Yes, it does now seem clear why many originally referred to Theresa May as the steel lady. Greybull Capital, which sounds like a city full of old Conservatives talking, bought the industry in 2016 for a £1 and have since run the British institution into the ground, meaning thousands and thousands of jobs are at risk. I mean, it’s because it only cost them a £1. As soon as you think ‘ah well, I can get another one at the poundstretcher’ you know you’re going to let it break.

And lastly the government announced a number of plastics will be banned from use by 2020. This includes straws, which means the only ones left will be the ones the Conservatives are desperately clutching.

ADMIN

Yowzers, that was a long intro huh? Too much to say on this week’s show and not enough time for any of it. I was going to do a big bit about the collapse of British steel but much like Greybull Capital who bought it for a pound, I haven’t been able to invest any time it whatsoever so I’ve had to, very sadly but perhaps aptly, scrap it. If I’d been savvy I’d have outsourced that bit to a podcaster in China and they’d have made it for me at a loss, which I guess is a big part of the problem. Anyway, I would normally ask how you are, you’d not reply because it’s a podcast, I’d generally imagine that you’re all saying out loud how you are anyway even if you’re on a bus and everyone thinks you’re weird, but hey, now the seat next to you is free! Win! But this week, I’d better crack on with noise. So quickly, you know the drill, and as you’re already familiar with DIY tools, here’s other things you’re familiar with. Please donate to the patreon or ko-fi accounts at patreon.com/parpolbro or ko-fi.com/parpolbro as I’ll be adding something to both at the end of this week for those who do. More on that in a minute. Please also give the show a review on iTunes or wherever you do a review, even if that’s just on a piece of paper that you then fold and place into a tree where it will hold it forever like a secret of time. But even if you do that, slam a 5 stars on it eh? And of course do just tell people you like this show and that they should listen to it too as the more of you there are, the higher the chance someone might actually listen to this admin bit and buy me a much needed coffee. You’ve got to have goals people. Or if you’re too lazy to play football, like me, then you’ve got to have coffee so you can even have the energy to vaguely entertain the notion before continuing to sit down.

Admin this week is if you hear this early in the week, our kids politics show ‘How Does This Politics Thing Work Then?’ that I do with Tatton Spiller at Simple Politics, who was last week’s guest, is on at the Underbelly Southbank this Thursday and Friday, that’s May 30^th and 31^st at 1pm. I won’t lie, we need some bums on seats. So if you have a child of 7+ and also can’t think of what to do with them in half term, and like it when they and you laugh and learn stuff, then please bring them along. Tickets are at the underbelly festival website if you do a google for that.

This week’s show has Katy Styles from We Care taking about their campaign for better rights, pay, well any pay actually and generally just some respect for carers and the stupidly hard work they do. I mean, even when I type carers on word it tells me it’s a spelling error and should say careers. It’s like the DWP secretly own word. Bastards. Plus there is a look at the EU election results and what they actually mean, clue, still that nothing has changed its just still taking up all our time. And there is a little tribute to Theresa May too. I know she hasn’t gone yet but if you look behind her eyes, I think she left a long time ago. But first, why not have a bit of someone else’s voice?

INTERVIEW WITH KATY

Carers do pretty much what it says on the tin. Caring. I mean, it isn’t exclusive to them. I care for loads of things, like my family, my new trainers and cake. But for carers, its a bit more important than me being sure to savour a Victoria sponge. According to the NHS definition, a carer is anyone, which makes it sound like something Arya might’ve gone off in training to do. Oh no wait, sorry, it carries on. A carer is anyone including children or adults, who look after a family member, partner or friend because of their illness, frailty, disability, a mental health problem or an addiction and cannot cope without them. It’s a pretty broad definition, mainly because a lot of people, approximately seven million people, or one in ten in the UK are caring for someone, yet despite that, as the next bit of the NHS definition points out the care they give is unpaid. Now you might think it’s a bit rich to expect to be, as love should be unconditional and cost-free right? Except looking after someone 24/7, potentially providing their medication, transporting them everywhere, enabling them to live their life, takes up all of yours. And hey, let’s not pretend that spending time with family is so much fun you’d want to do it all the time. I mean often Christmas is enough. Ever since David Cameron spouted his Big Society nonsense, and the Conservative government have slashed social care to its bare bones, more and more responsibility has been placed on people with needs to expect care from those around them or not get it all, but when your main job is looking after someone you can’t get another job around that and then how do you afford to do anything? The government has been promising a green paper on social care including carer funding since 2017, but nothing has appeared as sadly, it really appears that caring for anyone, is not remotely on their agenda.

This week I spoke to Katy Styles at We Care who are campaigning for all the UK’s unpaid carers to be valued. They estimate that by 2037 there will be 9 million unpaid carers and that’s a lot of people working really hard and not being able to afford to do so. So I asked Katy all about what it means to be a carer, what needs to happen to help those who do it, and if a carer is anyone, can she morph into the people on her list and cool stuff like that, ok I didn’t ask that one. Yes, there are too many Game of Thrones references in this week’s show. This week’s interview is a sort of part one, as next week I’ll be speaking to Dr Frances Ryan all about the slashing of disability rights in the UK. So as a prelude to that, here is Katy talking about the lack of rights for those who care for the people who’s rights have been slashed. Here is Katy:

And we’ll be back with Katy in a minute but first, here is a short tribute to Theresa May. A collection of all the descriptions I’ve ever written about her, all in the style of the Sleaford Mods, but if they weren’t very good and instead sounded like me. Anyway, if you’re a Patreon or ko-fi member, you can get that at the end of week. I’m not sure why you’d want it, but it’lll be there for you to download by Friday. You’re welcome, even if you don’t want to be. HIT IT!

THERESA MAY TRIBUTE

Yes, I really do have too much time on my hands. So now, let’s look at this:

EU ELECTIONS JINGLE

The UK’s EU elections have happened, much like the EU elections in all the other EU elections as that is how EU elections worked. Overall, the voting across the 28 member states increased by 7.2%, to the highest in 20 years meaning over half of all Europe types did a vote. What did they say with their vote? Well one voter in Leicester apparently wrote wank in every single candidates’ box, apart from the Green Party where they wrote ‘not wank’ so it was seen as an acceptable vote. Which sounds great, unless they were commenting on how the only party they didn’t find arousing where the Greens, which, no wait I still think that’s a win for them. Generally, though, all around Europe, the Greens were found not wank. The EU’s Green group has grown from 52 seats to 70 seats and the alliance of Liberals and Democrats has gone from 69 to 101 seats. So, centrists and planet saving is up. Europe wants a fair-trade latte but only if you heat it with renewable methods. The Far Right rise in Europe is seemingly on the wane as while France’s National Rally lead by woman who definitely looks like she’d eat your children as part of a very long 7 course lunch Marine Le Pen, while they came first in France, they actually got less of the vote share than they did in 2014. In Italy Lega didn’t get as much of the vote share as predicted, in Germany, Austria and the Netherlands the far-right parties didn’t do well at all, and its only in Hungary and Poland that they still appear to be a dominant force. You know, those places that obviously were never ever affected by fascism in history so it’s understandable why they might flirt with it…sorry what’s that? Oh, really? Oh. Oh. But overall the Eurosceptic hard right group in the EU parliament has only increased its vote share from 21-23% which for a group that in various ways talk about shaking up politics, it’s really more of a slight tremble like you might get if you sit on a bench and the person next to you farts. Yes, its unpleasant, but not overtly worrying. But the big losers? The European People’s Party who are the centre right group and the centre left Socialists and Democrats. Yes, there are also Democrats in the Alliance for Liberals and Democrats but I’m not sure how they divvy them up between themselves. Ultimately, like seasonal trends, Green is very now, pure white is less popular than it used to be, left and right centre accessories are out, but something just for the middle is so, so mode ok?

So that’s the big picture, but what about our own little picture, our tiny polaroid, our mini jpeg right here in the UK? Well it’s kinda the same which does nothing to prove to those pro-Brexit folk that we’re nothing like them Europe types with their funny thin chips and kissing with tongues. The Brexit Party did win overall with 31.6% of the vote and 29 MEPs elected even though none of them will actually do the jobs. It is a very weird thing to willingly support someone getting paid to do their job badly. It’s like everyone ringing in to back a Britain’s Got Talent performer just so they don’t bother going to the final but instead spend the entire time tweeting how they’re going to take it down and succeed all by themselves because it turns out the world does need someone who’s dog can take a shit to the theme from the Professionals played on the kazoo. Actually, I have to say, all that does sound pretty amazing. It’s probably a bad analogy. But those wins seem massive for a brand new party only created but weeks ago, until you see that UKIP lost -24.9% of the vote. Assuming that’s now all gone to the Brexit Party, they’ve only gained 6.7% by themselves, which likely has come from the collapse of the Tories or Labour. So, a big rise in the far right? Not so much. It’s more that wherever Farage goes, his acolytes follow. Brexit Party is merely his new snake skin after shedding his last one that Gerard Batten tried to wear like a hideous cape.

According to various stats, the Anti-Brexit parties came out on top, with the Lib Dems, Greens and look, I’ll add them just to make them feel included but it’s really pointless, Change UK, gaining 40.4% compared to the pro-Brexit parties of UKIP and the Brexit Party on 34.9%. But that excludes the Conservatives who are definitely pro-Brexit, they’re just crap at doing anything about it and Labour who are pro-Brexit Monday, Weds and Friday, Anti-Brexit Tues and Thurs and then on a Sunday it depends on how many programs Barry Gardiner is on and which side he decides to be on most. But if you add the Conservatives and Labour to the Pro-Brexit vote then you get 58.1% of the vote is all about the Brexit. Or if you want to add Labour to the Anti-Brexit vote, then that’s 54.5% against the pro-Brexit of 44%. Plus the Remain vote parties are all divided in what they want with Greens wanting to revoke article 50, Lib Dems and Change UK wanting a 2^nd referendum. Meanwhile the Brexit Party doesn’t actually have any ideas apart from No Deal, which we think they want but no one is really sure as they still don’t have a manifesto and UKIP just like making threats at people on the internet, so it’s not like they’re all comparable unless you want them to be because hey, something’s gotta fill that news time right?

Either way, overall turnout was 36.9% which compared to the EU referendum which was 72.2% so if you think the will of the people can be exactly determined by just over half of half of the two thirds of people that voted last time then we may as well do political predictions based entirely on putting some post it notes with parties on in a bag and popping a hedgehog in there and seeing which ones it comes out with stuck to it first.

What is clear is that no one at all likes the Conservatives anymore. No one. Not even their parents. They had their worst result since 1832 aka when quite a few of today’s party still get their policies from so in a way, it seems apt. All the Conservative votes in this election have either gone to the Lib Dems, Greens or Brexit Party and whether or not they’ll claw any back will entirely depend on their next leader who’ll decided which ones are more important. Spoiler, it’ll be the Brexit ones. Meanwhile Labour votes seem to have gone to Lib Dems in some areas, Greens in some, and Brexit party in others. So what they need to do now is either continue annoying everyone by not pandering to either leavers or Remainers, or choose one, or maybe elect two leaders, one leaver one Remainer and they can maybe live together with hilarious consequences in front of a studio audience and some incidental music. Though best bet might actually be to back a 2^nd referendum that offers remaining and no deal and that way whatever happens everyone will definitely accept that as the result. Right? Ha! No of course not. If anything, everyone will be so sick of elections by then, only 4 people will turn up and they’ll just write wank in every box.

And now back to Katy….

INTERVIEW WITH KATY PART 2

Thanks so much to Katy. You can find We Care at wecarecampaign.tilda.ws or @wearecarers on Twitter, and Katy’s also on Twitter @willowkaty. I will of course pop all those links into the podcast blurb too.

Next week, as I mentioned earlier, is a sort of second part to this one as I’ll be speaking to the brilliant Dr Frances Ryan about her new book ‘Crippled’ looking at the myriad of ways the Conservatives governments have made the lives of disabled people hell. I’ve got a few more guests booked in too but as always, I need your suggestions as it very much helps in hunting people down to chat to. So if you have an idea of someone you think I should interview, or an area you’d like me to interview someone about, please drop me a line @parpolbro on Twitter, the Partly Political Broadcast group on Facebook, the contact page on partlypoliticalbroadcast.co.uk or email me at partlypoliticalbroadcast@gmail.com. Or why not write your message in a milkshake and lob it at me, which I’ll a) deal with as it’ll just blend in with all the other food my daughter has thrown at me during the day, and b) is pointless as any message you write will now have been mixed into an unreadable message, god it’s almost like you don’t know how milkshakes work. Idiot. Just give me a milkshake with a note written on it, then I can drink it because I’ll be honest, all this milk shaking has really done is made me want milkshakes all the time. Maybe it’s a conspiracy by Big Farmer. What I mean is, it is, as always, much easier to email me.

END

And that’s all for this week’s Partly Political Broadcast podcast. Thank you for checking into this noise hotel for but an hour. I mean that’s a very short stay, what did you check in for? I hope it wasn’t filth. Quick reminder, as people always tweet on Twitter as though we’ve all instantly forgotten either this very important thing that you couldn’t possibly forget like ‘quick reminder: You die if you try to eat a rake’ or something, or it’s something that you didn’t know in the first place and didn’t really care about so it doesn’t matter. ‘Quick reminder: Plastic tips on the ends of shoelaces are called aglets.’ No one needed to be reminded of that. No one. But this, this quick reminder is important as its to please please pleasey please review this show with a big fat, or thin, or whatever shape five stars as this show is all about star positivity, do that on iTunes or Podbean or just mow it into a field at night and let people think aliens did it. If you can, please donate to the ko-fi or patreon accounts, both of which I’ll be adding the Theresa May mix to later this week. And just generally tell other people that this exists and to listen to it and eventually if enough people listen to this, then you’ll all have something to discuss around the water cooler or while stuck in traffic you can just wind down your windows and reach out to your fellow human with your favourite Theresa May description, or maybe while on passing escalators? I just want to bring people together with the phrase ‘constant walking advert for Shark Week.’ Is that too much to ask for?

Thanks loads and loads to Acast for pod coddling, my brother The Last Skeptik for musical noise things and to Kat Day for typing up the linear liner notes for partlypoliticalbroadcast.co.uk every single week.

This will be back next week when even more Conservative leadership candidates are announced including Skeletor, a walk in freezer, a saltwater crocodile, a Death Eater, and someone eating a burger with a knife and fork.

BYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

This week’s show was brought to you by Invisible, a new scent by Esther McVey. Sure, you might think it’s an empty bottle but Esther has been assured by someone on the internet that it’s actually the most sought after smell in the world, created by technology we definitely have, so you can’t see or hear it. Invisible, by Esther McVey. Making sure there are no borders to stop your odor passing through.